


Sparks

by Daisyflo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/F, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Knights of Ren - Freeform, M/M, Post TLJ, Post-TLJ, Reylo - Freeform, Slow Burn, background stormpilot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-01
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-03-12 06:56:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 39,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13542081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daisyflo/pseuds/Daisyflo
Summary: After the Resistance escapes from Crait, hope seems to be nothing but a distant memory. Hopefully, this is not where the story ends.This fanfiction takes place right after the end of the movie The Last Jedi.Thanks to my amazing beta-reader, nite0wl29 !





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm very excited and nervous to start this fanfiction, I hope you like it ! The first four chapters are pretty short but the next ones get longer ! Don't hesitate to give me your impressions :)

 

 

The door shut curtly on her face, breaking the gaze, leaving him with only one statement. Once again, he was all alone. It didn’t take long before the disbelief in his eyes vanished, welcoming a stone-cold look back as the room quickly became filled with First Order officers and expectations.

“What should we do, Supreme Leader?”

He winced at the sarcastic tone of this voice and realized he was still kneeling down. In a heavy silence, the new leader got back on his feet and turned around to face the red-haired General whose smile didn’t even conceal his pride.

“Back to the Finalizer.”

 

 

It felt like it’d been days since Rey last slept.

Daytime was a relatively complex thing to adjust to while crossing the galaxy. If she was completely honest with herself, she couldn’t even say how long it had been since she had left Jakku; it could have been days, months, years…so much had happened since then. It was only as she started telling how her mission went that she realized only a few days had passed. Around her, what was left of the Resistance was listening her account, with only the babbling of the Falcon’s console adding to her voice.

“… then Chewie and I were able to reach Crait and find you all.”

Silent, closed faces nodded. It was still too soon to realize the past events. Adding to that, the poor number of them had left a bitter taste to the escape. Breaking the silence, Leia stood up,

“Thank you, Rey.”

Her face was inscrutable, which meant more than words could say. A soft greeting later, she left towards the cockpit and the little group separated throughout the ship. Her place wasn’t left empty for long, already taken by a smiling Finn. There was something missing in this smile; something new but gloomy. She couldn’t tell. The last time she saw her friend could have been the last. There was a strange feeling aboard the Falcon: split between grief, relief, and reunification in a tense atmosphere. Having to adjust to only one mood wasn’t easy. Despite that, she managed to smile back.

“What did I miss?”

“A lot, but nothing compared to your own story.”

With a brief glance towards the bunk Rose had been put on, the former stormtrooper started telling all that had happened within the Resistance. Silent but still, Poe listened. His arms crossed across his chest, his eyes fixed on Finn as he related the self-proclaimed mission he and Rose followed on Canto Bight. As he was getting to their arrest, the pilot mumbled that he’d better go check where they were going and left for the cockpit. Quickly checking if anyone could hear them, Finn continued:

“It’s been crazy here. Without the General, we all felt a bit… lost.”

Rey nodded, understanding far more than she’d like.

“Is that…?”

She cast a glance at the crew, trying to count them and probe the faces she may have met before she left for Ahch-To.

“All that’s left of the Resistance ? I’m afraid it is.”

Both of them sighed, blindly looking in front of them. They remained like this for a few minutes; awkwardly close yet distant, until Finn stood up and offered a helping hand to her.

“ I’m going to check on Rose. You should get some rest.”

Usually, she would have disagreed and found something helpful to do, but she could feel the tiredness weighing down her head. With one more nod to her friend, the young woman got on her feet as well and reached the semi-circled bench next to the corridor.

Thousands of concerns about the Resistance’s fate came to her mind as she laid down. But deep down, as she fell asleep, she couldn’t help worrying for someone else’s.

 

 

 

The Finalizer was as cold and impersonal as it’d used to be. As soon as they landed, Hux had caught up the new Supreme Leader in an attempt to talk about their future plans.

“Shall I summon our forces ?  We could-”

“I want the Supremacy fixed.”

“Bu-"

The sole sight of his superior’s expression was enough to shut Hux up. One hand on his still scorching throat, the General agreed with a solemn yet forced “yes” before heading to the main room, escorted by some officers.

As he reached his personal quarters, Kylo Ren let his cloak fall on the floor and himself on the bunk. Not a single noise to be heard between these walls, except his thoughts. Breathless, the young man realized he’d never felt so full of anger yet so empty. Quickly, focusing on only one of these ideas became tough enough to give him a headache, which only accentuated the growing frustration running through his veins.

For the second time of his life, it occurred to him that killing someone might have been a terrible mistake.


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

A hoarse cry jolt Rey awake, along with the sound of staggering steps on the metal floor. In a brisk movement, she pushed a porg away, got up and reached the cockpit access corridor where some voices were raising. As she turned in the corner, she caught on what seemed to be an important talk between General Organa and Dameron.

"Regarding our stocks, we have to land somewhere, and I'd rather that somewhere be a familiar place."

"I get it, but for how long ?"

"For as long as we need."

Before the pilot could add anything, her head turned to Rey. A kind smile appeared on her face as she beckoned her to join them.

"How much did I sleep ?"

"A few hours", informed Poe. "I tried to as well", he added, "but couldn't help hear those creatures squeaking around."

Chewbacca growled from the cockpit as a support, forcing a smile out of the Captain. Despite being a complete stranger to her, he seemed to be the kind of person you could easily feel familiar with, making Finn's trust in him fully understandable.

"Where are we headed ?"

"To Endor", he announced with an obedient glance at his General. With a grateful nod, she spoke again:

"We'll be landing soon, I'll meet you all in the Main Hold in a few minutes. Make sure everybody comes."

They both acquiesced then separated at the end of the corridor, looking for the few Resistance members wandering around the ship. Favoured by her previous trips aboard the Falcon, Rey easily gathered half of the crew, soon followed by Poe escorting a tired-looking Finn. According to his concerned expression, Rose hadn't woke up yet. Daring a look at the window she was standing next to, Rey caught sight of what seemed to be an vast forest bordered by a lake. A sudden silent dragged her from the contemplation; alongside her comrades, she gave all her attention to the General who had just entered the room.

"We are currently landing on Endor. In spite of my faith in the Resistance, it appears we can't keep fighting in these conditions."

Despite being full of excuses, her look still remained strong and hopeful as she spoke.

"I believe we still have allies among the galaxy, and will keep on trying to contact them. For now on, what I expect from you is to have some rest while we figure it out."

As she ended her speech, a small shock announced the ship had landed. Calmly, the group headed towards the Boarding Ramp.

"Rey ?"

The young woman stopped to turn, curious as to how she could be of any help.

"I'd like to have a word with you."

 

 

The tension in the room had never been so obvious : side by side, not even casting a glance at the other, General Hux and the Supreme Leader delivered the last known informations about the Resistance forces to a small group of First Order Captains.

"They escaped aboard a ship known as the Millenium Falcon. Regarding their limited number, a simple observation will suffice. As soon as we'll be aware of their next move, crushing them won't be a difficulty."

A poorly controlled sigh escaped from the Supreme Leader's mouth as he fought the impulse to get rid of the General. A simple gesture would be enough.

"What do you suggest we do, Supreme Leader ?" hypocritically asked Hux as he turned to his superior.

Everything is his eyes betrayed his loathing of Ren. A slight, devious smile achieved giving him dehumanizing his face. Unimpressed, the young man kept his head turned to the Captains as he gave his orders.

"Our fleet is large enough to keep an eye on every possible shelter they may have found. They can't have gone far away from Crait."

No one dared discuss the statement. Still staring at him, the General's voice rose again.

"Now, may we discuss the budget ?"

For the first time since the beginning of the meeting, Ren's eyes landed on him. Knowing the man and their respective skills, his intention was irrefutably to make a fool of him in front of those men he barely knew yet had to supervise. Surprisingly calm, the answer came naturally :

"Sure, keep me informed."

Before anyone could protest, the new leader left the room.

On the way back to his quarters, he could feel something prickly wandering inside him. Emotions about to overflow, emotions he had managed to conceal for years until now, asking to escape the cage. When the door shut behind him, he dropped on the floor, exhausted.

 

 

"You saw him."

This wasn't really a question, yet Rey could hear a longing in her voice, the one of a worried mother. She agreed and started examining the room they were in, fearing her gaze would rush the woman. She seemed so exposed, not an ounce of a military figure left in her : only a woman who, at this very moment, had lost everyone, everything but hope.

"Do you think… Is there any chance… ?"

As she heard the unexpressed question, Rey bit her upper lip. A sense of guilt hit her : she had no idea about what to think, even less about what to respond.

"I don't know", she started. Seeing Organa looking away, she added : "But he could've killed me several times, yet he didn't."

It seemed to her that the old woman's eyes lightened a bit at these words. With a broken smile, she let her go and followed her outside, where a about fifteen people were waiting for her.

Unfortunately, they had landed in what seemed to be the late afternoon. The natural light quickly faded away, only allowing them to collect enough wood to start a flimsy fire enabling cooking what they found left in the stocks. When the sun disappeared, they had come to a point where everybody had fell asleep in various, surprising places : while General Organa and Lieutenant Connix had settled in the crew quarters along with others, Finn and Poe had invaded the semi-circled bench Rey had slept on few hours ago, the pilot's droid gently watching after the still unconscious Rose.

Unable to set her sleeping schedule on theirs, Rey had made her way on the Falcon's roof. From her spot, only the sound of unknown insect was to be heard. Their song didn't sooth her much, but remained appreciable. She could have stayed here watching for the stars above her, if she hadn't felt a presence behind her. Refraining herself from turning over would have been wise, but she obviously wasn't. Cross-legged, she eventually let her eyes linger on the former jedi. He looked like he'd been sitting for a while, but his whole body was strained. When his eyes met hers, she opened her mouth but stopped halfway : succumbing to a fit of anger wouldn't lead anywhere.

They stared at each other for minutes, filled with something indescribable, invisible surrounding them. She was the first to break the deafening silence.

"Your mother asked about you."

The information seemed to hit him. His eyes lightened slightly, as his mother's. _She was alive._

"No insult, this time." He noticed with a surprised tone. His voice was forced, as if about to break.

"You've had enough for today."

None of them added anything. After one more gaze, Rey turned back. She tried focusing on the stars, so much that she was unable to say when the bond closed.


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

After four days, what was left of the Resistance had regained some energy; allowing Endor to seem more pleasant that what they'd thought. The lake running along the forest revealed itself useful, while the trees provided a sense of security. Buried in the silence of nature, far from the screams and explosions that had cadenced the past days, this break was almost unbelievable; split between a rediscovered naivety and the gratitude and remembrance towards the fallen ones. But despite their General's orders, none of them had really been able to rest. Finn, reassured that Rose's heartbeat had returned to a regular one, had dived into an inventory of the Millenium Falcon's reserve while Poe and another pilot named Taslin Brance had explored the area accompanied by two other rebels. As for Organa, she and Lieutenant Connix had spent most of their days in the Falcon's cockpit sending the same message over and over to possible allies among the galaxy. In the middle of this rather disrupted organization, Rey had felt this was the right moment to take some old books out of a drawer. It'd been months since she hadn't read anything. Back on Jakku, she'd managed to learn some things such as basic flying or alien languages through a computer display and had appeared to be quite a quick learner. Despite some pages being damaged over the years, the texts were legible enough for her to plunge into it for days.

"I came here, you know. A long time ago."

Dragged out of her reading, Rey looked up to the man who'd just joined her. She squinted her eyes as they met the sun, following him as he sat next to her on the grass. Carefully listening, she handed him a piece of the pie's slice she was eating as a breakfast.

"Even then, all hope seemed lost. I remember thinking it wasn't a bad place to die, after all."

"You fought here ? With General Organa ?"

A crooked smile appeared on his mouth, filled with memories.

"Actually, I was under General Solo's orders." She wished this name had made her smile with the same wise nostalgia the man carried, but hers was still bitter. "Caluan Ematt", he presented himself.

"Rey."

A brief silence followed their dialogue, leaving both of them staring into memories, some older than others. Curious, Rey finally broke the silence, causing a new smile on the old man's lips.

"It must be frustrating. You helped win a war, and find yourself fighting in another one."

Still gazing at the calm water, he looked like a wise, confident man who had not even brushed by an ounce of doubt.

"This time is different."

 

 

At the other side of the galaxy, being aware of the time passing by became harder as days vanished. As he walked through the empty, cold corridors of the Finalizer, the young man reasserted his closed face. Hux would have done anything to see him a few hours ago; shifty-eyed and breathless as he was recovering from a dream. The same repetitive, guilt-induving, immersive dream that's been escorting his nearly sleepless nights for days. The lack of sleep was a disadvantage he became aware of as he entered the briefing room already assaulted by the General, apparently planning an attack he hadn't heard of since the last gathering.

"I don't remember giving my approval for this, General."

As he spoke, he walked to the small man at a slow pace, hands joined in his back, scrutinizing his unwanted partner. Surprised, but unafraid, Hux stood still and cleared his throat.

"Neither do I."

The two men stared at each other in what seemed a combination of defiance and aversion, both equal.

"And I don't remember the rank General being superior to the Supreme Leader's."

"As I don't remember the Supreme Leader's schedule being balanced between disappearance and vagaries."

With a brief wave, Kylo discharged the others who silently left the room, nearly holding their breath as the young leader's became loud. Gritting his teeth, he freed his left hand and spoke in a low, menacing voice.

"Until proven otherwise, I am the one in command. If you don't have the capacity of conforming to our hierarchy's obviousness, this could become a reflex."

His face was nearly touching the General's, struggling to catch his breath. When he tried carrying his hands around his neck, the invisible pressures let go of him. Without a glance at the man, he crossed the room and reached the panoramic window offering a clear view. He could feel Hux's perplexed look in his back, and heard him clearing his throat before talking again in a less confident voice.

"The Supremacy's fixing is in progress. The Engineering is speaking about a week before it can be used again."

"Great."

"May I ask where are we headed, Supreme Leader ?"

Not a single word left his mouth as he kept staring outside, fearing that a shiver might appear in his voice. After a few seconds, Hux left the room, leaving him alone. In an attempt to clear his head of the many thoughts that came back, his eyes got lost between the stars.  _Contemplating the universe wouldn't be of any help_ , he thought as he closed his eyes to focus on emptying his mind. His concentration came back, allowing him to skim what felt like a sense of serenity. It didn't last long; only long enough to feel a soft breeze caress his cheek, carrying a known scent of woods.

 

 

As the day went by, an unpleasant sense of inefficiency hit Rey. The Resistance had split between two groups: one still sending messages to possible allies and one exploring the forest in search of victuals. According to Finn, it appeared that they would soon be either starving or eating each other. Because of her still unhealed wound, General Organa had made it clear hunting was out of the question for her. Unable to wander around as everyone was busy, she walked to the Millenium Falcon, reaching for her quarterstaff; training would be useful, as it had always been. The moment she grabbed it, a voice rose above her head.

"Hey, Rey! I could use some help up here."

A sincere smile crossed her face as she started climbing the ship to reach its roof. Once there, she sat next to what seemed to be a struggling Poe. He had spread many tools around him including one being stolen by a porg as she tried to understand what he was doing. Seeing her raising an eyebrow, he tried to explain while brushing another porg off his head.

"I thought we could reinforce the shield. It's a good ship, but honestly-"

"It's garbage", she agreed as she reached for a screwdriver. "I wouldn't say no to a few improvements."

Time had an ability to speed up when an activity revealed itself to be pleasant. Without any pressure of a pending attack, fixing the Falcon turned out to be enjoyable, even if the little creatures kept stealing things from time to time. As Poe switched two lines, voices and faces emerged from the forest's edge, causing both him and Rey to stop what they were doing and look at the comers. Some things were following them, and watching a bit more closely, Rey noticed these things were some little creatures armed with bows and knives. As she extended her arm to reach her own weapon, Poe stopped her and pointed towards Leia going to them peacefully, smiling.

"I have a contact!"

For the first time since they had landed, Lieutenant Connix's voice was filled with pure euphoria. She, who always seemed calm and tempered, looked like she had run for a moment –which she probably had. When she turned to the sound of her voice, General Organa's face seemed a bit more enlightened than the day before; and in her eyes, even noticeable from the Falcon's roof, was a bright glimpse of hope.


	4. Chapter 4

 

 

Apart from a slight animosity with the porgs, the Ewoks were not as harsh as they appeared to be. Fortunately gifted with a great memory, they had recognized the princess they fought with decades ago, and abandoned any intent of fighting them. After some exchanges led and translated by C3PO, the former groups of hunters composed of Finn, Chewbacca, three men named Taslin, Cor and Sayl and a woman called Kana went back in the forest. They were led by the now-friendly creatures willing to guide them through the maze that this forest was. All the while, members of the Resistance had joined them, thrilled and curious about the contact the Lieutenant just had. Breathless, Kaydel Ko Connix waited for her General to turn to her to speak.

"I can't say where from, but we for sure received a message."

She didn't need much more to follow the young woman, both of them quickly joined by Commander Larma D'acy. The three women disappeared in the Falcon's cockpit, leaving only a handful of them.

"I'd better go with them. Thanks for the hand!"

Before Rey could add anything, Poe had gotten back in the Falcon where BB8 happily beeped. The afternoon had faded away, making way for dusk to settle above the trees. With a sight, she climbed down the ship with a slight metallic jingling as her belt met its surface. Back on the ground, she collected her quarterstaff and walked to the wood with a firm step. Her feet seemed to follow a path her eyes couldn't spot; every tree looked like the other, her wander becoming some sort of maze she might have struggle resolving when she retrace her steps. Her legs suddenly stopped in the middle of nowhere. There, this felt like the perfect place. With only some light birds warbling breaking the peaceful silence of the area, the young woman sat on the ground right under a tree. She picked up one of the books she'd been carrying the whole day and buried herself back in the study of the sacred texts. Some statements turned out being a bit intricate to follow; complicated by many technical and ancient terms she had never met before. As she kept on reading, Rey stood up; her left hand carrying the book while she extended her right arm towards the quarterstaff laying against the tree trunk. The weapon easily came to her, providing the former scavenger a subtle feeling of satisfaction. Walking and moving the staff as she read, she couldn't repress a frown as she passed a mantra written in meticulous italic handwriting. Intrigued yet curious, she read it again and, following her intuition, closed her eyes. A deep breath traveled her body, preceding her clear, calm voice :

 _"There is no emotion, there is peace. There is no ignorance, there is knowledge. There is no passion, there is serenity."_ She stopped for a moment, searching for the next words she'd just seen seconds before. " _There is no chaos, there is harmony."_

"There is no death, there is the Force", achieved a familiar voice.

The noise of a book hitting the ground echoed. Rey's eyes opened with a start, seeking for her interlocutor, alert. She loosened her weapon as she recognized the face standing in front of her; a luminous, younger-looking Luke Skywalker staring at her.

"Of all the things I've taught you, you chose not to consider the most important one."

Without breaking eye-contact, Rey picked the book.

"It's not like you've taught me a lot."

The words sounded a bit more accusatory than she'd expected, but she remained on the defensive as she reopened the book. She had barely reached the page she was at when the relic violently slipped out of her hands, ending up in dead leaves. Stunned, she turned back to the force-ghost Master but before she could ask anything, his voice rose again.

"These are inappropriate nonsense."

A combination of anger and injustice began taking shape in her throat, and she absently retightened her quarterstaff.

"This inappropriate nonsense is the only thing I can rely on", she said in a trembling voice.

With a shade of guilt in his eyes, the old Master shook his head  _no_  in response.

"There is no death, there is the Force," he repeated.

The young woman's breathing came back to normal. Her slightly wet eyes looked at him with disbelief.

"You… you mean you'll teach me?"

Looking like it took him a lot not to deny, Luke agreed with a sigh. Before she could thank him, his eyes settled on her bag from which his broken lightsaber's grip poked out.

"Fix it, then we'll see what I can do."

Upon these words, he disappeared as quickly as he'd arrived. Now alone, Rey realized the night had fell on Endor. Had she really walked for that long ? If she listened carefully, she could even hear the sound of a distant gathering stirring humans, droids and Ewoks together. Retracing her steps didn't take her long, guided by the voices becoming louder as she came closer to the wood's edge. A few minutes later, she joined what seemed to be a campfire.

"Rey !"

Sitting on a trunk used as a bench, Finn waved to her while a displeased Ewok looked at his hand, obviously fighting the impulse to break it as it brushed past his head.

It had been a long time since every one of them had such a feast. Looking at them eating and laughing in a joyous and relaxed atmosphere, it would've been easy to forget they were in the middle of a war; uncertain of their fate. But for a few hours, the combat seemed far away, people sharing stories and memories from their lives, not even minding the porgs trying to sleep at their feet.

"Of course I didn't know that laserbrain of Poe had been watching me the entire time; not saying a word!" recalled Taslin, making everybody laugh at his story.

"I wish I had things to tell about my training too", whispered Finn with a forced smile.

With an empathic smile, Rey put her hand on his shoulder and opened her mouth, looking for some comforting words. Before she found anything to say, their General's voice rose above the conversations, asking for silence. Followed by Lieutenant Connix and Commander D'acy just getting out of the Falcon, she took place next to the fire so everybody could hear her.

"It seems that the message we received earlier was sent from Naboo. Regarding how few we are, I'd rather have some of you staying here, but this is just as risky."

"What are we doing then ?" asked Poe.

Her eyes lingered on him with an affectionate expression, but her uncertainty remained easy to read.

"We're working on it, Commander."

As she spoke the last word, an almost invisible smile made its way on her face as on Connix's, while the pilot opened his mouth under the surprise before expressing his gratitude by a soft nod. The conversations continued, nearly covering a small voice in the background that hadn't been heard since the beginning of the campfire.

"Excuse me… where are we ?"

As he heard it, Finn stopped listening to the new story Taslin had was telling and raised his head, his eyes studying the area to finally settle on his friend.

"Rose !"

The young man abruptly stood up to reach the maintenance worker and cautiously took her in his arms, relieved to see her awake. It didn't take long for General Organa to join the pair, taking the two of them aside in a protective way. Added to the general mood, Rose's return warmed hearts of the members of the Resistance, who continued enjoying the evening knowing it might be the last festive one before a long time.

One after the other, they eventually decided to go get some sleep after the Ewoks had gotten back to their village. In only half an hour, the Falcon ended up full of asleep people, some more comfortably than others. Having a preference for the outside, Rey had chosen to lay next to the now weak fire, wrapped in a woolen blanket. Unable to get to sleep nor close her eyes, she let her thoughts wander, exploring every questions she had in mind. The past days should have felt like she was part of something, surrounded by caring people. The need to go back on Jakku had left her, yet she lacked something.

 

Far away from the forest planet, a red lightsaber lightened in a spacious empty dark room, held by a trembling hand. Out-of-breath, Kylo looked around him, half-sitting in his bed. What a fool he'd been, thinking he might find some peace in slumber. He'd fallen out of the habit of sleeping with a weapon years ago, but had lately felt the need to get back to it. The nightmares felt more and more real, as the lack of security on this ship. Freed of the voice in his head, he'd supposed his thoughts would have simplified, but nothing had simplified. Indeed, everything had become a lot more difficult to deal with: failure, guilt, anger, fear; and sitting on top of it, the unequalled feeling on loneliness, making him feel as if he was a child again, waiting by the window for his parents to come and calm him down. At the thought of them, a single tear scrolled down his face as he turned the lightsaber off, plunging the room back into darkness. Regaining control over his shaking body, he laid down, focusing on his breathing. A second breath blended into his, accompanied by a scent of woods and the light of a fire.

The eyes his met where those of another sleepless soul.

"Ben ?"

In her mouth, the name was more of a question than a surprise. They stared at each other for a moment, both laying on their side, in silent.

 

As she examined his face, she noticed something frail had settled in his eyes. She should've felt mistrustful, turned her back and slept for good. But once again, her instinct talked for her; as she recalled her last night on Ahch-To, her hand laid on the grass, halfway between them.

She could see his eyes swinging between her eyes and hand, hesitant and questioning. His finally laid next to hers, careful not to touch skins. In the silence of this heavy night, none of them talked, both their expressions saying enough.

"You should sleep", he finally whispered. At this stage, he had broken the eye contact, staring at their hands.

"You should too."

She was the first to close her eyes, succumbing to tiredness.


	5. Chapter 5

By early morning, the fire had extinguished, leaving nothing but ashes. This wasn't a bad sight to wake up next to, yet Rey's eyes opened with a shadow of disappointment. All around the makeshift camp, members of the Resistance were already awake, setting to work. Chewbacca, along with Taslin, Poe, Ematt and Kana, were getting ready for what looked like an exploration according to their equipment. Interested in being a part of the expedition, Rey got up on her feet but before she could take a step, a hand rested on her shoulder, making her twitch. The former scavenger automatically half-raised a hand as she turned over.

" Wow, easy ! It's just me. "

As soon as she faced Finn, the young woman lowered her hand.

"Tough night ?"

She confirmed with a nod, although she felt well-rested.

"Same here. I haven't slept all night", he confessed as he sat on a tree trunk.

Other than weariness, his voice failed to hide something close to frustration growing day after day. Attentive, Rey sat next to him and followed his eyes; the small group she was watching earlier seemed ready to go. The Wookiee lead the way while Poe and Taslin brought up the rear.

"What are they doing ?"

"Exploring the old station. Organa thinks it might help us decrypt the message."

"You think it will ?"

He finally let go off the group to let his eyes linger on her.

"I don't know, but I can't wait to leave this planet." A sigh slipped from his lips as he looked around them. "It's only a matter of time before the First Order finds us. We're pretty lucky they didn't yet."

The statement left the two of them silent, both lost in their thoughts. Even though she agreed about the stay dragging on, Rey couldn't help finding some serenity in the landscape they were offered. Back on Jakku, water was a luxury not everyone was lucky enough to possess. Living by the waterside, surrounded by trees adding more liveliness to the scenery was something thrilling to her. This feeling might have been due to her first journey out of her mother planet being on another forest planet. At the thought of Takodana, her eyes opened wide.

"I know where we could find help !"

 

 

"Takodana ?" repeated Leia, sceptically.

Being back on Endor had brought particular feelings to the General, both comforting and nostalgic ones. Memories of reunification altered by the loss of loved ones, an ancient victory shaded by another war far from being won. She had so much to mourn, yet couldn't allow herself to. Her troops had never needed her to be so strong as these past days, when her whole self internally threatened to fall into pieces at any given second. Even standing here, in the Main Hold of the Millenium Falcon, had become hard to take.

"Last time we talked to Maz, she was in a pretty complex situation," Rose pointed out from the bunk she was sitting on.

"I wouldn't worry about her. I bet whomever bothered her ended up hanging with her flags."

Finn and Rey exchanged a knowing smile, both remembering their first and last encounter with the pirate. Retaining herself from rolling her eyes, the General turned to Kaydel Ko Connix who had remained silent since the beginning of this conversation.

"Lieutenant ? What do you think ?"

The young woman took a step forward, less formally than she'd used to.

"We need fuel, General. Our stocks aren't enough for a straight flight."

"Takodana would make an interesting detour", added Commander Larma D'acy as soon as her superior turned to her.

Forced to face the evidence, Leia sighed, knowing they were right. Before she could approve of their plan, Rey took a determined step towards her.

"We must try, General."

Hope filled her eyes and escorted her voice with such tenacity her words echoed like a pleading, pushing Organa to resign.

"To Takodana, then. We'll leave in two days."

Despite her forced tone, she managed to address a slight smile to Rey as the young woman mouthed a grateful  _thank you_  before leaving the Falcon hastily.

The news didn't take long to spread through, brightening up the Resistance. Now able to hold on to a plan, everybody was back in high spirit, preparing for the oncoming departure. Aware of this opportunity to be isolated, Rey disappeared in the woods before anyone could find her. Just as the day before, she progressed between the trees following an invisible path. Soon, the trees grew and the sounds weakened. Minutes later, she found herself as lost as she'd hope, in a rather soundless area. A metallic sound resonated from her bag as it collapsed on a boulder she settled on. Doubtful yet determined, she drew the bag towards her and let the two halves of the lightsaber float to her open hand. Her other hand reached for the various tools she had found in the Falcon's Engineering Bay and, with caution, she started studying the broken parts of the weapon. Nearly an hour later, it appeared that repairing a damaged lightsaber was slightly different than what she'd been used to as a scavenger. She'd learnt to work quickly and that any pieces could be replaced, which seemed to differ a lot with this new technology she had in her hands. One mistake, and the whole circuit might be ruined. Still, she had to start somewhere. As she carefully raised the pieces to her eyes, a familiar sense of being watched stopped her in her tracks. Slowly but surely, she put the weapon back on her lap, allowing her to face a tense Kylo sitting a few meters from her. His eyes, filled with disbelief, first stared at the broken lightsaber before sliding to the tools scattered all around Rey. A forced laugh hardly escaped from his lips.

"You'll need something more… precise. Otherwise, it'll be worse."

His voice sounded like every word hurt, matching the glint of devastation settling at the heart of his eyes.

"I don't have anything more precise", she replied frustrated by the unsuccessful repairs.

A new moment of silence followed, during which Rey made a point of honour not to be distracted from her attempts to see how she could mend both parts with what little she had. After a few tries, she managed to clean the cycling field energizers, enabling the visible crystal to be put back on its former place. Ignoring the young man's stare she could feel lingering on her, she took off one of her arm wraps and began wrapping it around the broken parts, mending it in a rather rustic way. As she secured it with two leather straps, she looked up to meet Kylo's disapproving face.

"Better than nothing", she said hastily before he could even speak.

She tried igniting it, but the blade didn't appear apart from a weak blue flash.

"Building a lightsaber is supposed to be a long-term process, it takes time."

"I don't  _have_  time."

The words had slipped faster than her thoughts. Their eyes met again and for a moment, she seemed to become aware of the situation. He was her enemy, yet she was allowing him to see what she was doing; how she was feeling. Judging by the look he gave her, his thoughts were not far from hers.

"What are we doing ?" she asked in a whisper.

This time, she wasn't avoiding his eyes. He opened his mouth, about to say something but before he could talk, the bond cut off abruptly. Suddenly alone, Rey looked around her, startled. She stood up, the lightsaber still in her hand, her eyes clinged to where the young man was sitting seconds ago.

"You call that repairs ?"

Caught off guard, she turned with a start to face the former Jedi Master's ghost looking at the lightsaber.

"I can't do more for the moment."

"Put it away, you won't need it."

Following his instructions, Rey put the lightsaber back in her bag and sat cross-legged on the floor, not without a frown.

"I must admit you know how to fight, but you lack examination." As he talked, the force-ghost Master started walking around her in circles. "Close your eyes."

 

 

Catching his breath after the sudden bond closure, Kylo looked at his hands, realizing they were trembling. His erstwhile Master might have been right; he was haunting him. Admitting it was very troublesome, but the sole sight of him had been enough to shaken him. It required a few minutes before he regained control over himself. Fortunately, the room he was in didn't allow anyone to catch a glimpse of him in such a condition. This in mind, he allowed his thoughts to drift towards Rey and the lightsaber;  _his_  lightsaber. The shock he'd felt at the sight of the shattered relic had nearly left him voluntarily speechless, knowing the pain of seeing it in this condition could have gotten him out of control; something he didn't want to experience in her presence. Yet, something between them had felt different this time. Far from the previous night in which each other's presence had been comforting enough to be shared in silence, these few minutes had carried the weight of too much unsaid things. Unsaid, until she'd said it.  _What were they doing ?_  Once released, the question seemed served with huge meaning. They were not supposed to stay this close.

Irritated, he drove this idea out of his mind and got back on his feet. He had to find Hux A few tries later, one including bursting in on Stormtrooper training, he finally found him at the entrance of the main control room, having what seemed to be an absorbing conversation with Tritt Opan, a discreet Captain he'd always found peculiar. As he approached them, their voice lowered until Hux manifestly sent him away.

"Supreme Leader", he greeted him. "The Supremacy should be fit for purpose in about three days now."

Everything from his smile to his voice sounded phony, increasing Kylo's distrust towards him. Out of the corner of his eyes, he noticed Captain Opan throwing an agreed look to the General. As if he'd read his mind, Hux carried on :

"Captain Opan was informing me Yavin was a serious eventual Rebel base the Resistance might be headed to. With your consent, we'd like to explore this possibilit-"

"Change of direction, General. We're allowing ourselves a slight detour."

The idea had just crossed his mind, increased by the threat he could sense emerging from the two men. Hux's expression betrayed his concern he unsuccessfully tried to hide as his voice rose again, uncertain.

"Where will this detour be ?"

"Cato Neimoidia."

The information delivered, he turned away from the red-headed man, satisfied. Soon, this man would be nothing but a distant threat. It was time to call upon the Knights.


	6. Chapter 6

“Evin ! Look what I caught !”

“He’s gotta be kidding me.”

Partially covered by the cracking of a wooden bridge, the sarcastic comment didn’t make it to the hunter’s ears. Anybody from miles around would have been able to notice the pride on the young man’s face as he proudly approached the remnants of a long ago abandoned village; if there had been anyone except the six of them. The ruins of stone houses had been approximately repaired, resembling makeshift huts children would have built. A long ways from the bridge cities and any other form of civilization, nobody could hear the screams of the young woman as she left the low wall she’d been sitting on and approached the boy with long strides.

“Are you out of your mind ?!”

The young boy’s eyes confusedly laid upon her, his smile disappearing as he felt her discontentment. Keeping his chin up, he nonetheless attempted a strained smile while pointing the prey he’d carried that far.

“You said you were tired of roots and berries.”

Evin gave a sigh and tilted her head back, her long swinging braids following her head’s motions. The kid certainly was attentive and generous, but sorely lacked moderation. Not without making sure her tone was still disapproving, she rolled her eyes and came closer to the creature he’d caught, muttering a nearly inaudible _thank you_ she hoped he wouldn’t hear. As soon as she’d made her way under the massive creature and started dragging it to the shed they used as a kitchen pantry, a smug voice rose from the stone wall she’d just left.

“Wow, you really did drag it all the way to here, Orell!”

“Riyec…” forewarned Evin.

“No, I’m impressed !”

About to help his elder hauling the Moutain Nerf, Orell came to a sudden halt, causing the other man’s smile to increase.

“But, I’m just wondering…” he added, ignoring Evin’s look of disapproval, “Why such a heavy beast when you can’t-“

“Riyec, enough! ” Evin interrupted, “Come help us instead of blathering.”

Unflappable, the mocker idly raised a hand up and didn’t move an inch. In a few seconds, the imposing body left Orell and Evin’s shoulders to perfectly land a few meters away surrounded by a soft puff of dirt.

“Thanks.”

The word had escaped the young boy’s lips in a whisper, his voice betraying his discouragement. Without a glance to the blond-haired man still perched a few meters high up, he ventured a look towards Evin, yet unsure if he was ready to face her disappointment. As usual, she remained unfathomable : emphasized by the dark tone of her skin, her sharp clear eyes switched between the two of them. When she’d insured Riyec’s teasing had come to an end, she reached the laying Mountain Nerf and proceeded to pushing it to the shed. Although she was a strong woman, the animal remained too heavy for her and had nearly moved.

“Do it. I don’t mind.”

Of course he did, even if he wouldn’t admit it. As the youngest of them all, Orell was the less experienced, a fact that didn’t fail to frustrate him and that Riyec was delighted to point out anytime he had the opportunity to since they’d arrived here. Unfortunately, his self-confidence had suffered so much from the continuous mocking that he’d ended up having troubles with certain aspects of their former training, mostly about his control. One thing leading to the other, he’d ended up in a vicious circle Evin was having difficulties taking him out from. She brushed his words away with her hand and beckoned him to join her.

“Come on, help me.”

It wasn’t without a sense of guilt that she sometimes found herself wondering if it’d been wise of them involving him in this. Once they finally succeeded in putting the beast in the shack, they came back outside to find Riyec talking with someone.

“You’re back early”, Evin pointed out with a frown as she approached the duo.

The newly arrived man turned around to face her, his clothes dirtied from his shortened expedition in the valley. His light red skin was nearly unnoticeable, wrapped under numerous layers of mismatched fabrics. A loose hood made out of linen completed his flowing dressing in a nearly gracious way, barely allowing his face to appear in daylight. In a contained move, he removed it, exposing a pair of striped head-tails proper to the Togrutas hanging down his chest

“I know. I’d rather have stayed helping Gania, but…”

As he spoke, he raised his sleeve up to reveal the two-way beacon attached to his arm. The item was shining with a light they hadn’t seen in months. The young woman’s eyes widened at the sight of it, soon followed by Riyec’s distant comment:

“Don’t hold onto that. He must have just accidentally sat on his.”

Ignoring his words, Evin kept staring at her friend with uncertainty, less confident than minutes ago.

“What do you suggest we do ?”

“Nothing. We wait here.

She nodded in a knowing way as she watched him press the beacon, sending their position back.

“As usual !” Riyec sarcastically sang from his spot.

 

 

_What are we doing ?_

The words echoed in his head as they’d been doing so for the past two days, joining the other voices jostling inside. Alone in the empty, secluded room he’d used before for training purposes,  Kylo closed his eyes. He could feel each and every one of his muscles shivering, wearied from the last hours of intense exercise he’d dedicated himself to. Appearing across the ship would have been wiser -who knew what that General was up to- but wasn’t what he needed at the moment. For now, all he wished was for his head to be cleansed of anything keeping him awake for longer than he intended; a wish more or less granted as he relentlessly showered an invisible enemy with blows.  Yet this lacked the satisfaction of feeling anything collapsing under his blade. Even a Training Remote would have done the trick. Stopping in his tracks at this thought, he gave a sidelong look to the corner of the room where a pile of unidentified equipment he hadn’t been paying attention to was laying on the floor. Kylo raised a hand, lifting up what appeared to be nothing more than damaged uniforms.

_You’re just a child._

The fabric ripped apart, edges burnt by the sudden stroke of his lightsaber. A pained hiss escaped his mouth as he became aware of his move. A minute of inactivity had been enough for the voices to return. He suddenly felt the urge to wreck the fabrics in small pieces, and watch each fragment burn slowly under his eyes.

_I failed you._

He split his target again, breathless. A humming now escorted the voices, making his head spin. As he gritted his teeth another voice rang, more distant.

_Hey, Little Bandit._

The dizziness, the humming; everything stopped, including him. The torn fabrics and his knees simultaneously met the ground with a muffled sound. The flood of feelings that were now submerging him were far worse than the anger he’d embraced earlier. Head down, he switched his weapon off and put his head in his bare hands.

“Hm-hm.”

Someone clearing his throat; he would have recognized this noise among many. Switching his lightsaber back on appeared very tempting, but he settled for a long sigh as he got back on his feet and turned around to face the General with an inquiring look.

“We’ll be landing soon.”

The man was standing proudly, hands folded behind his back and a suspicious look in his eyes.

“Supreme Leader," he added.

Predictable. The courtesy sounded like an affront when it came from him. In fact, it was almost impressive. As he noticed a slight satisfied grin on the General's face, Kylo straightened up, taking advantage of his height.

“I’ll join in a moment.”

Hux started making his way out of the room but stopped halfway.

“What seems to be the trouble with the uniforms ?”

Unable to find a suitable response, Kylo remained silent and tracked the General with his eyes as he disappeared down the corridor and dropped the burnt fabrics back to the corner of the room with a brief gesture.  Suddenly aware of his appearance, it occurred to him a brief detour to his quarters would be rather convenient before he mixed with the crew and landed.

Barely fifteen minutes later, he showed up alongside Hux just in time to attend the spectacular view as they approached the planet. He’d almost forgotten the specific shades of blue scattered across the sphere. Without taking his eyes off the spectacle, he ordered for his ship to be prepared. As he’d expected, the General turned to him, eyebrows raised.

“Aren’t we meeting them as well ?”

“The Knights don’t exactly take a great pleasure in meeting…” Slowly, he shot a glance at the crew members and lingered on his interlocutor. “…authority figures, if I may say so.”

“That makes sense, then.”

Judging by how pale he turned, the words hadn’t been supposed to escape from his lips. For what seemed to be long minutes, the two men stared at each other scornfully. The idea of throwing the man across the room crossed Kylo's mind while his rival could hardly hide the shadow of apprehension emerging on his face.

“Your ship is ready, Supreme Leader.”

The news cut the silent conflict off, allowing the two men to realize the entire room had heard and witnessed their conversation. After the irritating sound of clearing his throat, the General disappeared towards the other crew members without a word. When he could no longer see him, Kylo turned to the man who had brought the message, thanked him with a curt nod, and left the room.

Once out of sight, he took a deep breath. The more he thought about it, the more the idea of dismissing Hux was becoming extremely, and dangerously, tempting. Although he didn’t look very intimidating, he could possibly become a threat; but getting rid of him would mean admitting he, in a way, already was.

_Just a child._

He hurried up, focusing on the way he had to follow in order to reach his ship. After this corridor, he had to turn right, pass five doors and turn right again, enter the code to the security monitor -736786- and cross a final corridor. When he reached the last door, his shoulders felt like they’d been lightened from an invisible weight; a few meters from him was his way-out, his break from it all. His fingers ran hastily on the monitor as he entered the code and made a slight movement but stopped at a still closed door.

“Come on…” he muttered as he entered the code again.

 

**_\- Access denied -_ **

 

Either someone had changed it or he had just forgotten the numbers. No matter which one was the right assumption, he tried another combination -734738- and watched as the door finally opened. When he finally caught sight of his ship, he didn’t wait for the doors to open fully and rushed to it.

Entering the Upsilon-class shuttle, it seemed like he hadn’t flown it in weeks; at least not alone. After collecting a small item from his belt, he settled on the pilot seat, mechanically pulled a lever and pressed the beacon in his hand. A few seconds later, the shuttle flew away from the Finalizer, heading to the inhabited part of Cato Neimoidia. While the cliffs and canyons materialized before his eyes, Kylo retightened his fist around the beacon. He hadn’t seen them in months; some of them might even blame him for disappearing that long. Yet, they were his only remaining hope to ally with people he trusted. To belong. A cracked smile appeared upon his lips as he realized the word had crossed his mind. Hope.

 

 

 

“Nice catch Orell !”

Without warning him, the young woman accompanied her congratulation with an affectionate hit on his shoulder. Pieces of branches and moss fell around from her thick white hair, ending right in the middle of the pieces of raw meat that the boy was cleaning. As could be seen from his blood-stained arms, he’d spent the whole day draining and eviscerating the Mountain Nerf he’d caught in the late morning so it would be ready to cook for dinner. With the years, he’d proven to be an expert in the subject and –apparently- a hunter in the making. But for the moment, he was mostly annoyed by Gania’s lack of attention as she kept accidentally ruining his work.

“Move ! You’re making a mess !”

Throwing up her hands in surrender, the girl held a laugh back and stepped backwards.

“Can I at least add what I’ve gathered ?”

Still sullen, he agreed and watched her drop off a handful of berries in a basket and sit next to him. Even though Gania may be capable of as much acerbity as Riyec, she still had moments where her old self was relatively visible. A brighter, less bitter Gania than the one sitting next to him. A few steps from them, Evin kept an eye on them while fixing the makeshift curtain covering her own shed. Judging by the ambient humidity, the night would certainly be cadenced by a drizzle.

“It’s activated again.”

Tulan approached her, showing the beacon that had activated earlier in the course of the day.

“Bumblefluff”, articulated Riye who had barely moved from his initial spot.

“Shhh !”

Squinted eyes and open ears, Evin was scrutinizing the sky, imitated by her peers. A whirring seemed to grow louder as a dark shape progressed in the grey sky, easier to distinguish as it came closer to the distant ground of the forest. Gania and Riyec exchanged a tense look, unnoticeable due to Orell’s reaction : in a heartbeat, the boy had dropped what he was doing and gotten back on his feet, ready to get to the ship landing miles away from them.

“Wait. For all we know, it could be anyone.”

The five of them silently agreed and looked away, all going back to their initial activity. As she watched Tulan going back to his hut, Evin could have sworn he smiled at Gania who wished out loud whoever was coming to meet them was bringing something edible rather than fruits or roots.

 

 

The night had already fallen when he caught a glimpse of what looked like the light of a campfire. It appeared the coordinates were correct. However, it’d occurred to Kylo that landing at this exact position would have been a quite unsafe move regarding Hux’s curiosity. He’d thus been walking for the past three hours across the uneven rocky landscape, eyes locked on the beacon as he progressed through brambles that had torn the end of his cape apart. Out of breath, he looked up : a few more meters and he’d be there. Not without a heavy sigh, he gathered his courage and started climbing the rock wall. Far below him, he could hear the waves crashing at the foot of the cliff as a warning of not to slip.

This reunion suddenly appeared not as relieving as he’d imagined. Now away from the Finalizer, he realized he might have idealized this idea. What if they blamed him for his absence ? They would have every right to. Utterly focused on his thoughts, the young man barely noticed the voice above his head.

“Need a hand ?”

Taken aback, he took the one outstretched towards him as he felt the stone alarmingly slipping through his fingers and, in a final effort, leaned on the long-awaited plane surface. Back on his feet a few seconds later, he looked around him, slowly scrutinizing the area while avoiding any visual contact with the silent individuals he could feel were looking at him. After a minute or two, one of them broke the silence with her sharp voice :

“Dosh, I thought you’d never pass the forest."

Surprised to hear such words from Gania, the former jedi at last allowed his eyes to linger on them. Apart from the young Orell who turned out being in full growth, the five faces he met were rather familiar. It was only as he began searching for something to say that a detail had leaped out at him.

“Where’s Seyda ?”

“In town”, she replied impatiently.

Concern made way for relief as quickly as it’d appeared. For a moment, he’s imagined the worst.

“So”, Gania’s voice rose again, cutting short to the formalities. “What brings you here ? Snoke ? We got a mission ?”

Kylo breathed out, gathering his thoughts. Either his words would buy their trust, or they would sign his own death warrant.

“Not… exactly.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ladies and gentlemen, please, welcome the Knights ! Writing this chapter was very enjoyable and interesting, I hope you like it !


	7. Chapter 7

Left. Right. Left.

She could have done it eyes closed –at the thought of it, her eyelids shut and she went back to her procession. Up both figuratively and literally since sunrise, Rey had climbed up to the Falcon’s roof and shifted around, putting her sense of balance to the test. Her head remained high while her feet followed the edges of the ship, dangerously skimming over the planet’s pull with each step taken. Blindness turned out as an interesting ally for the exercise, the disadvantage allowing her other senses to sharpen.

_“Your head isn’t clear”_

The words from the day before echoed, nearly causing her to trip over a sensor.

_He was right; her mind was anything but clear. In the space of two weeks, she’d lost just as much as she’d earned, answers making room for new questions she would’ve preferred to avoid._

_“Whatever is confusing you, listen to it.”_

_“I am”, she retorted with an impatient voice as the force ghost kept moving around her, making her head spin while she tried figuring out whether he was behind her back or at her side._

_“You’re excellent at concealing, Rey, but that’s a mistake. Listen to yourself.”_

_She breathed out and let herself immerse in the ocean that were her thoughts. First she slowly brushed past the slimmest concerns : How much food did they still have ? Would the Falcon manage the trip to Takodana ? Had anything happened to her home back on Jakku ? As her mind started picturing her old shelter, it digressed to a second layer of worries – Did they really have any chance ? What if the First Order caught them on their way ? Was it even possible to repair a broken lightsaber ? She unconsciously frowned, still resisting to one thought; the strongest. The one she abstained herself from thinking about, the one she constantly tried to bury by painting a smile on her face when mingling with people. The face on which she’d closed a door, although she’d wished not to. She gradually let them enter her mind in full light : the regrets, guilt, and wonders, closely followed by the remains of the hope she’d placed in him. Almost inexplicably, they didn’t shake her as she’d feared; it was quite the opposite on the contrary. Acknowledging them felt like filling a gap. She was certain she could see his face if she focused a little more-_

Her foot remained hung in the air for a few seconds before cautiously landing a little more on her left.

One of her eyes opened with curiosity to discover she’d instinctively avoided a fall –not a huge one, but still high enough to warn anyone within earshot. She wasn’t afraid of heights, having spent the last years exploring wrecks with nothing but her hands to prevent from a direct fall right in sharp metallic leftovers. It was a matter of balance she’d been quick to figure out.

“Hey Rey !”

She turned her head sharply towards the voice to discover both Poe and Finn were looking at her, one of them slightly more worried than the other.

“We’ll be leaving soon”, shouted the pilot from his spot along with the joyful beeps of his droid. Far from them, the young woman pointed a thumb up before laisurely sliding down the ship.

“See ? Stable as a Woolamander.”

“Woola-what ?” repeated Finn, his eyes frowned in incomprehension.

Before the pilot could explain, his droid beeped in haste at Finn’s feet.

“I still don’t understand a word, ball.”

“Blue climbing beasts from Yavin”, Poe summed up with an amused smile, his eyes locked to the young man and BB-8.

A few seconds later, Rey had reached them and returned the Astromech droid his cheerful greetings. When he became aware of her presence, Poe’s eyes turned away from the former Stormtrooper to look at her.

“Planning a magic act to keep us awake during the trip ?”

A flimsy smile made its way to her lips as she shook her head.

 “How long is it gonna take ?”                                                                                                                                    

“Depends on who’s flying.”

The allusion woke a spark in Rey’s eyes, as if he’d just challenged her. The shadow of a smirk at the corner of his mouth confirmed her thoughts, but Finn stepped in before one of them could talk, hurried about their capacities to both rush headlong.

“What about the two of you sharing the cockpit ?” he suggested.

“I can work with a co-pilot,” recognized Poe before rushing over to General Organa; who was surrounded by Ewoks as she called for him. His droid trailed not far along behind him.

“Don’t mind him, he likes to tease.”

“I can tell”, Rey replied as she noticed her friend’s eyes had followed the pilot. “He seems good”, she added with a smile.

“Yeah”, he absent-mindedly agreed as the man disappeared behind the Millenium Falcon’s walls. “Best pilot in the resistance.”

 

 

Flying allowed Rey to bury any disturbing thoughts to the back of her head while she focused on the levels before her eyes; nothing to report. With Chewbacca’s growl of approval, she started the engine and turned to her co-pilot as he examined a map.

“So… we need to reach the Spar Trade Route, then the Grate Gran Run. If we approach Abbaji, we might be able to avoid the Shiritoku Way.”

“We’d be discernible the moment we pass by Maya Kovel. I’d rather take the Shiritoku Way then the Grate Gran Run.”

Poe stopped at her suggestion and considered it for a minute with a frown before he spoke again.

“Fast and safe”, he admitted with a nod. “Agreed.”

They pulled levers at the same time, and they drew away from the woodland. The landscape blurred, the green of the trees slowly mixing with the blue of the lake. With a twinge, Rey said her farewells to the place they’d considered their shelter for a few calm days, aware that they may never perceive a shade of this peacefulness again for a long time, if not ever. When the Falcon left the planet’s atmosphere, the two pilots entered the coordinates and before any of the passengers had the chance to draw breath, they reached lightspeed. With a sigh of relief, Rey loosened her grip on the main lever and engaged the autopilot mode before sinking into her seat. The picture of thousands of stars spread around her was still new and astounding, her eyes instinctively dancing among the lights, not sure about where to settle.

“Do you want to talk about it ?”

She snatched herself away from her contemplation to look at the man questioningly.

“Your visit on the Supremacy”, he specified as if it was obvious.

Her heart missed a beat, but she ignored the wookie’s gaze she could feel on her and pulled herself together. All along her report, she’d been very brief about the circumstances of her presence abord the First Order’s ship, even more about her interactions with the new Supreme Leader. She’d considered telling General Organa about the unexplainable bond they shared, the vision she’d had, but she couldn’t run the risk to destroy what was left of the poor woman if she appeared to be wrong. Poe’s eyes filled with concern as hers seemed to recall whatever she’d experienced aboard the Star Destroyer.

 “If you ever… well, either to me or Finn…” His impish look from earlier had disappeared, replaced with a shadow of bitterness. “I mean, I know what it’s like. Someone forcing his way through your head.”

 It was his turn, this time, to get lost in the contemplation of the stars. At the sight of it, Rey realized she may have been treated with kindness, compared to what he must have endured.

“I’m fine, thanks,” she replied with the same smile as always, comforting and instinctive.

And with that, she definitely resolved to not speak about him –about them- to anyone.

They spent the rest of the trip talking a bit more casually under the eyes of Chewbacca, sometimes visited by Kaydel who revealed herself as a more talkative person they would have thought. Far from the heavy atmosphere waiting for them at the end of the journey, they fell back to the naivety of the past few days, giggling under the supervision of Chewbacca. When they left hyperspace, General Organa entered the cockpit as Rey got back to the control panel. A combination of nostalgia and grief hit her at the sight of the green planet, and the seat she was on suddenly seemed forbidden. As she sneaked a peek at the silent wookie, she felt a hand landing on her shoulder with empathy. Their eyes didn’t meet, but she could easily feel Leia’s sorrow close behind the walls of the fortress that she had. Sharing strong feelings had a strange way to bring people together; and while she felt her chest being submerged with a comforting heat, Rey couldn’t help but notice both mother and son had an incredible ability to communicate without saying a word.

 

 

Never had it been so difficult to draw Chewbacca out of the Falcon. It was only after what had seemed like an eternity of negotiations and pleadings that he’d accepted to follow the group, far behind everyone. When they caught sight of what used to be Maz’s castle, both Finn and Rey exchanged a look. They’d witnessed the battle causing its destruction, but were now facing the aftermaths : about fifty tents of different shapes were spread not far from the ruins, surrounded by ships of all kinds. As they drew nearer to the campsite, they were able to hear the familiar uproar of a small town. That’s what the campsite appeared to be : a small town of its own. The group slowly progressed between the tents, noticing the largest ones turned out to be trade stands filled with excessively expensive supplies. Among this eclectic population, some members of the Resistance inexplicably didn’t fit in with the crowd, either by their uniforms or by their intrigued gaze. Without warning, the General naturally headed to one of the stands where the seller gave her an incredulous glance as she asked him where they could find Maz. Despite her small height, everything from her voice to her presence inspired respect; maybe that was why he pointed a green finger at the ruins without a second-question. After a grateful _thank_ _you_ , Leia led the way towards the direction they’d just been showed with a quiet yet composed pace. The bustle of the campsite lowered as they got away, replaced by mechanical sounds and shouted commands.

“The other side, you di’kut !”

Perched on a stack of grey rocks, the renowned “Pirate Queen” kept pointing to her left and shouting at a red loadlifter droid laden down with other rocks.

“No doubt, that’s her,” commented Finn with an amused smile.

As though she’d heard them approaching, Maz turned her head and looked down on them, a satisfied smile making its way on her burnt-orange face just as Chewbacca softly growled. She descended her platform in a few seconds, her piercing eyes stuck on the wookie; but before she could approach him, Poe spoke.

“Maz, we need-” he started.

“My help, yes,” she cut off before meeting Leia’s eyes and adding, in a tone of confidence, “They always do, at some point or another.”

Repressing a laugh, the General nodded knowingly as the pilot’s voice rose again, unflappable.

“We’re running out of fuel and need to refill our stocks before we head to Nab-“

“Shhh !”

All mischief suddenly left the little alien’s eyes as they suspiciously studied the area. After a minute of silence, she beckoned them to follow her as she walked back towards the campsite.

“In my quarters.”

 

Inside her quarters –consisting of a large but poorly furnished tent guarded by a droid similar to the one she’d yelled at earlier- the noises of the whole camp seemed to muffle, indicating their words wouldn’t pass through the thick curtains. No sooner than they had closed it, Poe rushed to their host.

“We received a signal from Naboo. We absolutely need to go there.”

“Naboo,” she repeated, wistful, “What was the message ?”

“We couldn’t decrypt it," answered Lieutenant Connix.

A heavy silence fell over the room during which Maz enigmatically paced up and down, ignoring the inquiring looks on her.

“Are you that desperate, General ?”

Far from being sarcastic, her question came with dismay and a huge empathy for the former senator who nodded with a sigh.

“I trust Thadlé Berenko.”

 Maz brushed the air with her hand at the statement as if she’d resigned.

“You’ll find fuel in Andui, it’s a one day journey from here. In the meantime, you can stay here; we must have enough tents to place you all.”

“Thank you," muttered the General as the loadlifter droid already guided them towards the exit, visibly impatient to show them their quarters.

“Rey ?”

The young woman stopped halfway from the door and turned to the little person, unsure about how she should feel. She remained still while Maz came closer to her, kindly lifted the gauze wrap on her side and unhooked the lightsaber from her belt with great caution. As she started unwrapping the broken halves of the weapon, Rey’s voice broke the silence.

“I tried to fix it. The blade won’t turn on.”

Focused on the weapon, Maz turned one of the halves over and gently shook it above her hand until a small stone dropped in. She immediately raised it to her skillful eyes, twisting it between her fingers.

“ _This_ is broken, that's why.”

“A kyber crystal, right ?”

She’d met the word in the course of her reading, learning about the stages of the weapon’s assembly, but the texts didn’t seem to provide guidance in case of damages.

“It’s repairable," stated the small alien after minutes of inspecting the crystal. “But it won’t be the same.”

Rey’s eyes widened at the news, followed by a sigh of relief.

“What should I do ?”

Maz considered the crystal again with a frown and muttered while heading to the corner of the tent, closely followed by Rey trying to catch her words. “One blade won’t be enough for such power, that’s for sure,” was all she could hear as the Pirate Queen cleared a trunk from a pile of clothes and dived in it. A few unidentified metallic pieces heaped up on the floor under the eyes of the former scavenger.

“Maz ?”

Her head emerged from the trunk at her name; she looked younger than ever.

“I’ll need your quarterstaff.”

 

By sunset, everyone had settled in the three tents they’d been assigned to. After a week of sleeping either in the uncomfortable bunks of the Falcon or under the stars, the makeshift camp felt as luxurious as a castle. A few hours earlier, Taslin had volunteered to go to Andui and left on a speeder bike generously lent by Maz, who’d spent the rest of the day scattering metallic pieces all over her quarters and tasking Rey with the draft of the weapon, changing it every five minutes. As always when she was deeply invested in a task, Maz ended up being difficult to follow; she’d almost not realized Rey left the tent.

Away from her peers, who were currently debating about whether or not they should join the common table set up in the middle of the camp, the young woman allowed her thoughts to digress now that she was alone again. Deep down, she wished she wasn’t. The last time she’d felt the connection seemed too far away, and she gradually came to realize that to some extent, she was beginning to miss it. A loud laugh arose from the group and she turned to see both Poe and Finn joking with two men she hadn’t talked to yet. _She wasn’t alone._ She was surrounded with people who cared deeply for each other, including her; and yet, she kept thinking about what she didn’t have. An embarrassing thought made its way among the others : was it betrayal ?

“Can I ?”

The sweet voice took Rey out of her thoughts and her eyes lingered on the newcomer.

“Sure,” she replied as she moved, making space for Rose to sit next to her.

They both stared silently at the shades of pink and orange spreading across the previously blue sky, until the former maintenance worker spoke again.

“Do you ever think about what you’ll do, after all of this ?”

Rey remained silent; it occurred to her she'd never planned ahead more than the day after. Her life on Jakku had been quite repetitive, and she hadn’t found the time nor desire to think about a potential future since she’d left her home planet.

“Assuming we survive," added Rose.

A shared glance followed those words and they remained still, speechless. Everything about this idea should have scared them and yet, the two women burst out laughing. Their tiredness could have been given credit for that, or maybe they’d just instinctively protected themselves from the fear hanging over them. The threat disappeared momentarily, and the universe seemed to offer these two strangers a moment of insouciance. They hadn’t had a chance to be properly introduced before, but something about Rose felt warm, nearly familiar; enough to win Rey’s trust. Catching their breath, they nearly missed Maz’s calls. A few meters away, their host sprinted to them, brandishing something bigger than her. Stunned by her abilities and rapidity, Rey stood up, offering her seat to the painting yet thrilled alien.

“I can’t guarantee a great stability, but… it should do.”

As she spoke, she handed her the quarterstaff –or at least, what was left of it. She could feel her heart hammering inside her chest, making it hard for her to focus on the study of the new weapon.

“Ignite it," suggested Maz with an encouraging tone.

A subtle pressure sufficed; almost simultaneously, two luminous blades emerged from both sides of the handle in a familiar frizzle.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it ! The story is going to speed up a bit now ;)
> 
> If you want to follow the characters's trip or have a look at the galaxy, here's a perfectly detailed map I use as a reference : http://www.swgalaxymap.com/


	8. Chapter 8

Grilled berries were an abomination : first sour then bitter tasting, the fruits left an unpleasant juice in his mouth and smudged on his hands, but the taste was nothing compared to the ambient discomfort. Even Tulan, an expert in conversation, had remained mute throughout the meal, absorbed by the small berry stains nearly invisible on his skin . It was now crystal clear that coming here was indeed the worst decision he had ever made; it was obvious none of them had been expecting him.

Highly focused on the fire’s crackle, Kylo almost jumped at the sound of Orell’s voice next to him.

“How did you get that ?” he asked as he pointed at the right side of his face.

Despite being relatively new, the wound had scarred rather correctly thanks to the med droids supplied by the First Order, so well that he almost didn’t feel the long line running from his forehead to the top of his chest anymore, but he wasn’t likely to forget the circumstances in which he’d got it. A quiver shook him as he caught his thoughts wandering exactly where he’d expected them not to, and he found himself gritting his teeth while giving the young boy a brief answer.

“In a fight.”

Regarding the suspicion he faced as Evin and him caught each other’s eyes, his tone hadn’t come out as detached as he’d thought.

“Where ? When ?” he continued, his eyes now filled with curiosity.

“Give him a break.”

Orell’s enthusiasm was by far more enjoyable than the previous silence, but Kylo silently thanked Evin. The words had come a bit harsh from her, but the young boy wasn’t the least bit upset when he shrugged before returning to the skeptical examination of the berries in his hands.

“I’m pretty curious, actually.”

On the other side of the fire, Gania raised her head for the first time since they’d settled. Even though the night was well established, nobody missed her glower as she spoke again.

“Since we’re apparently not invited to join those little adventures anymore-“ before she had been abruptly cut off.

“Gania, please,” started Tulan. At his side, Riyec cautiously listened as if he was witnessing a performance and didn’t know what to focus on.

“- the least he can do is recount his achievements”

A heavy silence fell again on the little group, but this time all attention was directed towards Kylo, dreading his reaction. Seconds passed, but not a word could make its way to his mouth; instead, he stared at her, steady. Her tone was sarcastic, but the look in her eyes betrayed an inner bitterness. Her resentment wasn’t a revelation; she’d always been harsh since they landed on the rocky planet, even before. Their last reunion had already been strained by the young woman’s offensive attitude. He’d simply glorified the idea of a reunion, blinded by his desires.

“Come on, we’re listening !”

She was nearly shouting now. None of them tried to cut her off, holding their breath as she got back on her feet.

“What was Snoke’s last request ?”

The name reawakened a fire in his eyes alongside the voice.

“Was he proud of you ?”

Pursing his lips, he replied with a short answer, “He’s dead.”

The words came out all of a sudden, almost easily. Surprised by his own composed voice, Kylo looked up to meet Gania’s fazed eyes, not even noticing his shaking hands grasping his knees. He tried to repress the pictures rushing from his memory –now was not the time to do it- but it was too late.  _The overwhelming red walls of the throne room, an unbearable cry of pain, the wrinkled hand raising idly, her tears of disbelief, his fear of failing the handling-_

“Everybody calm down.”

Tulan’s conciliatory voice dragged him partly away from his blank, and drove him to look around.  They were staring at him, eyes wide open and full of disbelief. From what it seemed, they’d plunged in a short but intense conversation his ears had been deaf to, centered on the distant cry still echoing in his head.

“We’re all tired, nothing good will draw out of this conversation in this context. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

Muttered agreements succeeded his words and Evin quickly disappeared as she escorted Gania to her hut, certainly fearing a new argument, closely followed by Riyec. Before he got up, Orell put a hand on Kylo’s shoulder and said something he didn’t hear, still struggling to push the thoughts and noise away. With the only company of the silent Togruta, he tried to focus on the cracking fire again, now feeling the tremors shaking his whole body. A minute or two passed before he acknowledged Tulan’s hands on his forearms, trying to calm him down as he remained at his height, nearly on his knees.

“Come on, you need to rest.”

Five years his senior, Tulan had always been wise and protective since they met; his peaceful voice might be what he needed at this precise moment. Little by little, the red walls disappeared and the cries of pain lowered, allowing his heartbeat to come back to a normal, steady rhythm. Still a bit distant, Kylo let his old friend lead him to an empty shed then onto a makeshift bed made of straw and fabrics. He could hear him speaking, but distinguishing the words and their meaning appeared more than complicated. The cries were now distant but still audible, he noticed as he passively let Tulan remove his cloak and gloves; yet when he motioned his hand towards his lightsaber, Kylo rejected him with a twitch.

“You can’t sleep with it. Let me.”

Not saying a word nor looking up, he unhooked the weapon from his belt and grasped it fiercely with both his hands. Tulan capitulated and took his belt off before gently laying him down on the bed and watched after him for a moment before he eventually disappeared, leaving him alone after saying a few words blurred by the incessant buzzing.

 

Kylo laid awake in the dark for an hour before the tremors stopped. Her voice had finally stopped crying, but he couldn’t help wondering if she was safe. The memory was too real, her  _suffering_  was too clear. His hands instinctively tightened their grip on the weapon he couldn’t resolve to let go of, and his eyes closed. His chest moved slower, his breathing rhythm deepened and bit by bit, he regained control over himself. The wind and remote hooting appeared to his hearing. Cradled by the new sounds surrounding his shed, he became aware of where he was.  _The walls were not red but of black stone._ He laid a hand on it to make sure he was really there; the cold contact strengthened his mind and he took another deep breath.  _Nobody was being hurt._ His hand remained on the wall for lack of meeting hers.

An insane urge to know she was safe firmly settled and he wished the surrounding noises would suddenly mute to push him to a dimension in which he could feel observed yet not threatened.

Maybe if he focused…

Eyes firmly closed, steady, he finally allowed his mind to utterly focus on her.  _Little by little, her face appeared.  She couldn’t hold back the tears running down her cheeks as she looked him in the eyes, shaking her head with a look of disbelief._ Eyes still closed, he shook his head as well and steered his mind away from the very last memory he needed to see. Now was not the time to greet his regrets. His hand left the cold wall as he turned to lay on his side, to land a few inches from his face.  _In another place, another day,_   _her hand landed not far from his in a soothing silence only broken by her deep breathing as she fell asleep._

Despite all his will, the familiar muteness didn’t manifest itself. Kylo remained alone with nothing more than a memory to keep him company until he finally fell asleep, his palm up in an oblivious hope for someone to take it.

 

 

No longer used to the natural cycle of day and night after so much time spent in space, the young man found himself later awakened by the very first sunbeam breaking through the space between the door and the ground. As soon as he sat on his bed, a violent exhaustion and cramps revealed themselves, followed by a wince. There was a great temptation to lay back and have a few more hours of sleep –but as inviting as it seemed, the sounds of conversations outside brought him back to reality. He couldn’t avoid them entirely and disappear once more. They needed explanations; and he needed them as well, whether he liked it or not. Fearing the worst, Kylo put his belt back on, holstering his weapon and let a sigh escape him before he stepped outside.

The brightness of the early sun blinded him for a few seconds, preventing him to associate the voice who’d just greeted him to a face.

“How was your night ?” the voice inquired, too soft to be that of Gania or Riyec’s. Kylo patiently let his eyes get used to the luminosity; when his vision became clear again, he discovered a small group composed of Tulan, Evin and Gania. Standing no more than two or three meters from him, the two girls turned at Tulan’s words, observing him for a few seconds before he realized an answer was being expected.

“I’ve seen better,” he muttered, unsure about whether he should join them or not. The question did not arise for long, Tulan beckoning him to approach with an encouraging smile. The Togruta took a step to the side, allowing Kylo to join the circle they initially formed and spoke with a casual tone, ignoring the tension between Gania and the new comer.

“Orell and Riyec will be away for a few hours, they went ahead of Seyda," stated Tulan as a matter of factly.

Qwerking a brow, Kylo cocked his head towards the Togruta. “You think she’s in danger ?”

Tulan shook his head in what was probably supposed to be a reassuring nod, but Kylo‘s frown remained. Before he could ask anything, Tulan kept announcing the day’s schedule.

“Gania, I’ll need you to show me where you found those berries yesterday when we’re done.”

The young woman agreed silently before disappearing towards a shack –probably hers- cautiously avoiding Kylo’s gaze. Unable to find something to say, he found himself nearly thankful when she came back tossing coarse staffs to them. Noticing his inquiring look as he caught the one she’d handed him, Gania rolled her eyes and sighed.

“ _Practice is the key_ ” she recited, mimicking Tulan’s voice to perfection.

Unimpressed by her mocking, the Togruta approached her with a half-smile and disarmed her in a move, taking advantage of her inattention.

“I couldn’t have said it better myself.”

A smirk appeared on the young woman’s lips and in a blink of an eye, the weapon came back in her hand, just in time to block a new attack. He had the advantage, but she was tenacious. Step by step, the duelists moved away, their movements becoming swifter, coming close to a dance of which they knew each steps by heart. Absorbed by the scene, Kylo didn’t notice Evin until she knocked his staff off with the same smile than Gania’s.

“Still easily distracted as always,” she commented with a smirk.

He blinked twice before realizing she was waiting for him to pick up his weapon, accustomed to either real fights or trainings with the only purpose of pushing him to his limits and beyond. Following Gania’s example, he extended a hand to the already halfway lifting staff and grabbed it halfway, narrowly blocking Evin’s strike. He remained offensive while she was on the defense, both excelling in their respective positions to such an extent that they ended up whirling around, one weapon against the other in an endless choreography.

With another unsuccessful attack from Kylo, they brushed past the two others and Evin suddenly pushed stepping back towards them, pulling him in her move. By a complex maneuver he couldn’t explain, his staff ended up blocked by Tulan’s and Gania’s, giving her a few seconds to escape. The movement suddenly rang a bell to him; he was fourteen, or maybe fifteen. They’d spent the last hours stumbling, swinging their weapons in thin air with frustration under the eyes of their erstwhile master. Seyda had been the first to master the parry, as always, slowly followed by every other student. Evin had remained the only one unable to do it, but the young girl had spent the whole evening training her friend relentlessly; so much that Evin had made it her signature move. Nothing could be more distant to what they'd grown up to be than this memory, but here they were, training with nothing more than a few staffs and taunting each other.

“Hey, don’t fall asleep !”

In the heat of the action, Gania seemed to have put her anger aside and charged at him, her weapon above her head, ready to strike. Suddenly alert, Kylo managed to step aside in time and struck as well, more and more at ease with them.

As the practice went on, they rediscovered some of the old habits they’d settled before as a team, whether by their stances or signals.

 

Everything felt natural, with a touch of nostalgia impregnating each of their movements as they kept twirling around, occasionally hitting their weapons together in muffled sounds echoing back from the mountains surrounding the ruined village. He was very tempted to stop and just observe Evin and Tulan’s duel, recalling both their fighting styles as gracious yet dogged ones, but it appeared that Gania had gained a lot of strength since he last saw her. Blow after blow, she managed to make Kylo move backwards, struggling to block her attacks until he found himself stuck against an old ruined wall. After a few seconds of analyzing his position he looked at his opponent’s weapon aimed at his throat and raised his hands as a symbol of surrender. For a reason that escaped him, Gania’s eyes darkened at the gesture and she lowered her staff, every trace of entertainment leaving her face as she stepped back, shaking her head.

“I’ll stop there.”

A bad intuition hit Kylo; it’d seemed too good to be true. He wouldn’t get away from this as easily as he’d hoped. The young woman remained silent, a few meters away from him as she stood still, her own arms wrapped around her. She nearly looked younger, with her white tangled hair and a staff in hand.

“Nice move, Gania !’ complimented Evin as Tulan and her approached them, out-of-breath but visibly satisfied with their duel.

Tulan was the first whose smile dropped when his eyes lingered on Gania, now turning back to face them with the same look than the night before.

“Excuse me, but are we really gonna stay here and pretend this is an old friends’ reunion ?”

The words achieved to drastically change the ambient frivolity to the same embarrassing silent they’d experienced a few hours ago –except this time, Kylo took a step forward and forestalled Evin.

“Whatever you need to say, say it.”

He was the first at being surprised by his assertiveness, but didn’t let it appear through his expressions –he’d had months of practice with Hux’s daily taunts, although he took more pleasure of confronting him than his friend. Could she still be considered a friend ? They’d been friends, years ago, but a lot had changed since they’d destroyed the temple and disappeared; starting with him becoming their leader, on Snoke’s orders. The logical choice would have been to choose Evin or Tulan instead, but it hadn’t crossed his mind back then.

“Come on, it’s not like it’s an old friends’ reunion.”

His voice lightly cracked at the last words as he felt a pinch in his chest, both regretting it and watching out for her reaction. After a few seconds of opening and closing her mouth, Gania finally looked at him with hard-nosed eyes and spoke with a low voice, articulating every word with an almost threatening attention.

“It never occurred to me becoming a so-called “Knight of Ren” included being thrown away on a fragging rock with nothing but a vague assumption that maybe –maybe- the beloved First Order will need us for a dirty job.” She paused for a moment as if she was gathering her thoughts. “I never wanted to become an assassin.”

He’d been prepared for loud accusations, maybe insults –even a slap wouldn’t have surprised him. All of that, he could’ve handled. But what she stated were nothing he could deny nor justify. Not with her now-red eyes staring at him, taking him back to the first time he'd ever seen her cry, six years ago.

Biting his lip, he considered her with a simple answer, “I’m sorry.”

As he pronounced the words, Kylo realized he couldn’t recall the last time he’d said it. He’d felt sorry a lot –but apologizing was a habit that had long left him. Regarding the disbelief settling in her eyes, the lingering sense of déjà vu hit her as well.

“You’re sorry ?”

The question almost came as a mutter. Despite her small height, she looked as threatening as him, to the extent that neither Evin nor Tulan dared stop her when she took a few steps forwards.

“Guess what, Solo : so am I.”

His face strengthened at the name she called him.

“Don’t ever call me that,” he sneered.

Her face was nearly touching his now, with an air of defiance. She’d found his weak spot and seemed as willing to push him off limits as he was to stay calm.

“Why not ? So-called Kylo Ren didn’t abandon us.  _Ben Solo_  did.”

Ignoring the rage growing bigger and bigger inside him became harder as she spoke.

“Don’t call me-”

“Solo ?”

She’d reached the limits; his right hand made its way to his lightsaber and before he understood what was happening, his back hit the ground with a thud a few meters away from the young woman still aggressively shouting his name, barely held back by Tulan. As soon as he looked up, Evin’s hand appeared in his field of vision.

“Come on.”

Suddenly aware of her frowned face, he took her hand and followed her as she headed for the ruined village he’d seen a part of last night.

 

By the light of the day, the place seemed inexplicably ghoulish : a silent, abandoned ruined village falling into ruins. After they passed the first sheds –the ones inhabited by the little group-, Evin sat on the remaining of what was once a wall and gestured to the spot next to her, inviting Kylo to do likewise. Not without a quick hesitation, he reached the old wall she’d pointed out and sat as well, avoiding her gaze until she spoke.

 “Why did you come ?”

“It doesn’t matter, I’m gonna leave. It was a bad idea.”

Going back to the Finalizer was the last thing he wished, but he couldn’t take the risk to hurt any of them like he’d been about to do a few minutes ago.

“Cut the phobium, I can tell something happened.”

A nervous smile made its way to his lips.

“What gave that away ?”

“You’ve always come escorted. What’s wrong ?”

The smile vanished, making way for a heavy sigh. He couldn’t avoid it any longer; Gania was right, they deserved an explanation. Aware of what was about to happen, he lowered his eyes and joined his hands behind the back of his neck. Staring at the ground would make it easier. Three deep inhalations later, the words got out :

“ _I_  did it.”

The woman’s silent betraying her incomprehension, he added : “Snoke. I killed him.”

His shoulders and chest suddenly now lighter, everything flowed with an unexpected ease, facilitated by Evin’s silence as she listened every word he said : from his first days as Supreme Leader to his last encounter with his father, not forgetting the untrained yet powerful girl who’d appeared in an unpredictable way when he'd least expected it. That last part remained the most difficult, if not impossible to describe.

When he’d finished, Evin stayed mute for a good five minutes before she got up and left him with the only instruction not to move. Even if he’d wanted to, he couldn’t have : the aftereffects of his unloading were starting to manifest, making his legs both weak and heavy while his mouth went as dry as a desert planet. An hour had passed, maybe two, during which his mind had started creating the most insane scenarios. Maybe they were plotting his murder, maybe they’d tried to join the First Order –Hux would be delighted to count them in- or maybe they’d simply decided he wasn’t worth it anymore and had left. At the last thought, he cast a glance to the sky. No ship getting away. While he resigned himself to the possibility that they’d started plotting an attack, the shape of a group cut out in the reflection of the sun approached him. Blinded by the light, Kylo squinted; his heart missed a beat when he noticed six distinct shapes. Waiting for his sentence, he swallowed and stared at his former friends as they came closer, unable to see their faces. When they finally reached him, Kylo went back to his contemplation of the ground, incapable of facing the judgment he could imagine in their eyes. Without a word, the six of them sat down around him, close enough so that he could feel their eyes on him and hear their breathings. Now he knew : they’d decided to kill him. He closed his eyes with a hope for it to be quick and waited silently, thinking of each breath as the last, until a hand landed on his shoulder, accompanied by Tulan’s voice.

“We’re with you. No matter what.”

His eyes opened at the surprise whereas his breathing came back to normal as he turned to face him and the others. Orell was giving him a cheerful smile he wished he would've been able to return to him, while Gania met his eyes with pursed lips and an apologetic look. Next to Evin -as unfathomable as ever- Riyec nodded absently and stepped aside to make way for the newcomer. As she squatted down to reach his sitting heigh, Seyda smiled at Kylo with one of those rare, warm smiles which only her had the secret of, and a long-gone feeling of belonging made its way back to him.

"Welcome back."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I definitely love exploring the dynamic between these characters and creating the Knights ! I hope you like them !


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like reading with music on, this is what I listened to while writing this chapter !

  

[background music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7UH5rPilomE)

 

Away fom the campsite near the forest of Takodana the Resistance had established two days ago, a singular figure stood on the edge of the riverside, wrapped up in a woolen blanket floating with the soft breeze blowing through the fabric and trees. Her eyes closed, she smiled at the feeling of the waft of air caressing her bare cheeks, recalling a time when some well-known hands used to make their way through her face before lips she'd known by heart gently kissed hers. The words were not always as gentle, but the kisses always were cautiously delivered when he left. And he’d left a lot. Leia’s smile slightly broke at the realization that the man she’d loved would never come back, as well as her brother. She’d seen them both more in a few days than she had in six years, yet they'd still eluded her, once more and forever. Despite her love for them, she couldn’t help feeling the bitterness she’d repress for years mingling with her sorrow as she absent-mindedly brushed her ring with the tip of her finger.

“General ?”

She tore away from her contemplation of the crystal lake and turned to face the young Rey hesitantly standing a few feet from her and beckoned the young woman to join her with a warm smile. It seemed she hadn’t been the only one struggling with finding sleep in these early hours of the evening.

“General…” she repeated thoughtfully in a whisper as she gazed back to the stretch of water. She didn’t miss being called Princess, but she sure did being called only Leia. Every title preceding her given name came with expectations and obligations, slowly becoming as of nothing but a new burden. “How can I help you, dear ?”

Rey reached her side in a few steps, still hesitant. Leia could feel her young gaze on her as clear as her troubled mind. Something seemed to bother her.

“Is everything alright ?”

Leia’s aged eyes lingered on Rey with an undisguised surprise, both by her words and her own reaction. She’d been so used to looking after people she had nearly forgotten the feeling of safety in which one could wrap up when looked after by someone. She wished she could have given her a positive answer, but all she could do was settle for a thankful smile before they both let their eyes linger on the peaceful lake spreading in front of them. No lake or mountains were comparable to the stunning landscapes of Alderaan, but the very sight of water never failed to soothe her feelings and make her feel home. She closed her eyes again and inhaled the fresh air of the late evening, immersing herself in the peacefulness of the place before going back to her status and duties, when she felt torn feelings that were not hers becoming clearer as seconds passed : regrets and guilt closely followed by a longing she'd known for years and could relate to, but would have never suspected in the young woman -as if she’d felt the same reciprocity, Rey looked at her out of the corner of her brown eyes while the old woman examined her with a light, knowing smile, as if she’d just seen her for the first time.

“I’m glad you crossed our path, Rey.”

The statement struck Rey in the heart and warmed it heavily to such an extent that her lips parted, searching for the right words to express how she felt towards the General. In the space of a few days, she’d been such a compassionate yet impressive figure she hadn’t dare talk to her more than necessary lest she said something inappropriate, not used to the procedures the Resistance surely had settled before Finn and her joined them. They'd only been with them for a few days, after all. However, every doubt vanished when the General’s hand reached hers. She couldn’t help noticing how cold her skin was, but didn’t look at it.

 “So am I”, Rey muttered as she gently squeezed the hand in hers back, both as a grateful gesture and in a distant fear she would let go of her.

Unsaid things kept hovering above them as they tightened their grasp on each other in a shy yet essential attempt of support. After a moment, they heard a familiar sound of moving gears betraying the presence of a droid, and the two women turned to face C-3PO and his customary startled look.

“General Organa” his mechanical voice rang, “Lieutenant Brance is back from Andui.”

The droid left with rigid steps after his now owner had nodded as to indicate she’d acknowledged the news. Her hand gently shied away from Rey’s and in the space of a second, the vulnerable woman she’d just witnessed made way to General Organa, who started following the protocol droid as she turned to Rey.

“See if you can find Poe and bring him near the castle’s ruins,” she ordered before disappearing into the darkness of the setting sun.

It took Rey a few seconds before the General’s request reached her, and she realized she was alone again. A swift thought crossed her mind as she started heading to the campsite, but she quickly turned a blind eye on it : she didn’t have any time to lose, nor could she permit her reflections to wander as often as it had the last days. Even if she did, she didn’t have any control on the connection she’d hoped to feel again.

Focused on her task, she slipped inside the tent and began cautiously making her way towards the spot she’d seen Poe sleeping in the day before, careful as not to step on anyone and, keeping her eyes and ears open, she noticed a muffled voice not far from where she’d expected the Commander to be. One or two meters away, a blanket covering moving shapes deadened the sound of a man’s voice she immediately recognized.

“Poe ?” she asked in an undertone as she noticed Kaydel frowning in her sleep next to her left leg.

The voice stopped and a disheveled head appeared from under the blanket with an inquiring look. The pilot looked very awake, still nearly laughing from whatever joke he’d been telling to whoever he’d been talking with under the heavy fabric. Silent, Rey pointed towards the entrance and beckoned him to follow her as she already backtracked. Once they both exited the makeshift dormitory, Poe smiled and started talking, not the least sleepy.

“It better be important, I was in the middle of my best stor-“

“General Organa asked for you," Rey cut abruptly.

At the mention of his superior, Poe suddenly straightened up and adopted a serious expression as he followed Rey, already walking towards Maz’s castle –or rather what was left of it. Despite his alert state, the pilot remained silent all along the way, distractedly running a hand through his messy hair in an attempt to look a little more decent.

When they approached the ruins, three figures turned to them : one Rey had left a few minutes ago, one reflecting the sunbeams just dying out from the horizon, and one Poe offered a radiant smile as he patted him on the shoulder.

“Tas," he greeted his friend with a nod while taking place next to him to face their General.

Hesitant about whether she should stay or leave, Rey remained a few steps away from the quartet until Leia gestured her to approach them. Not sure about the necessity of her presence, the young woman still obeyed and reached the little circle they’d formed, mouth closed and ears open.

“I found fuel," Taslin started while waving to the speeder bike weighed down with containers to illustrate his point, “but it’s a poor quantity.”

“Better than nothing”, Poe pointed out with a shrug.

“About that second ship, General” he continued as his gaze lingered on the woman, “There are some available, but we can only afford the small ones.”

“It will do.”

He opened his mouth once more, as if about to add something, but stopped halfway when Poe sharply turned to the woman.

“A second ship ?”

All trace of his smile had disappeared, now replaced by a concerned frown as he crossed his arms on his chest, evidently not enthusiastic at the idea of a new ship joining the Falcon.

“I thought you didn’t want us to split up?” quirking a brow he questioned with unease.

“I don’t.” She responded with a closed face, nearly ignoring the pilot’s gaze, “And you won’t.”

Rey frowned as well at the last words, alternatively looking at the two of them as Poe stared at the General with a look of disbelief. He remained silent for a few seconds, examining the old woman’s face as if it held the answers he was looking for, before he let a single word slip out of his mouth.

“Naboo ?”

As she closed her eyes in an assent, Rey noticed the same light in them she’d witnessed earlier and tightened her arms against her chest, a feeling of discomfort running through her body as she understood what was coming. Before Poe could add anything, Taslin’s voice broke the silent.

“There are rumors some mid rim planets might have been taken over, General.”

The information seemed to push Poe even deeper in his worries; his frown amplified, he moved closer to Leia, slightly leaning his head to reach her height as his voice lost all restraint.

“Let me escort you.”

It sounded more of a pleading than an offer. As she noticed it, the woman raised her eyes to meet those of the young Commander.

“I need you here with Lieutenant Connix. In my absence, you’re both taking the lead.”

“But General-“

“That’s an order, Dameron," Leia retorted in a more demanding tone.

A feeling of guilt hit her as she watched a shadow of disappointment settle in the eyes of the man who she’d never admitted consider as a second son. Head down, he bit his lips and stepped back in retreat, his arms more squeezed on his chest than ever. They were all waiting for a new silent to fall on their group when Rey’s voice suddenly rose, unexpected.

“I could.”

The four of them turned to her with inquiring looks she tried to ignore the weight of. The lady let a discrete sight escape from her, and gazed at the young woman with uncertainty before regaining her composure, ready to refuse her offer.

“I would be more useful with you than here,” Rey hastened to add.

 “This is indeed very true, General. Miss Rey has actually been 33.6% useful for the past couple days.”

The General turned to the protocol droid with eyes betraying a desire to shut him down. While the droid’s statement bruised her ego, Rey still knew it to be true : everyone had either managed to evaluate which residents of the camp were reliable or not, or helped Maz and her droids with her reconstruction work. As for her, Rey had tried following her peers in both activities, but had appeared to be a poor investigator and too distracted to be trusted with the “rock lifting trick” as Finn called it. The feeling of uselessness eventually drove her to fall back on lightsaber training sessions, during which she’d brushed the hope of seeing the ghost of Master Skywalker appear once again and guide her instead of letting her with nothing but blurred sayings. Rose had joined her from time to time during her breaks, mindful as not to leave her by herself for too long.

 “I appreciate the offer, but I will go on my own. This is definitive.”

Both Rey and Poe nodded with an agreement they didn't sincerely feel, turned around and walked away, understanding they were done. When they reached a reasonable walking distant from Taslin, Leia and the droid, Poe seemed to wake up and suddenly spoke with a voice she’d never heard coming out of him, troubled and resentful.

“I don’t like it.”

“Me neither”, she admitted on a softer tone.

“I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

None of them glanced at the other, half present, half lost in their own thoughts as they kept walking towards the tent they’d left twenty minutes ago, until Rey unexpectedly startled as she felt a sudden weight crush against her back. Noticing the movement, the pilot turned to her, an eyebrow raised.

“Everything fine ?”

Her answer being slow to come, he looked around them from the corner of his eyes and started moving a hand down to the blaster hooked on the side of his belt.

“Just a spasm,” she eventually replied, prodding him to put his weapon back on his belt.

When they reached their shelter a few steps later, Poe hastily slipped in the tent where he absently reached the spot Rey had gotten him out of earlier, and disappeared under the blanket after vaguely waving to her. The place became silent again, an outside of time tranquility emanating from the deep breathings echoing around her. Still, she inexplicably felt uncomfortable at the idea of sleeping in such a crowded small space; she’d spent her whole life sleeping alone, and if she’d gotten more or less used to the general daily talking and occasional handshake from Taslin, so much proximity was still new for her, physical contact having been nothing more than another way to defend herself back on Jakku. A quick look to the tent’s entrance informed her that the sun had not entirely disappeared yet, but the fabric’s opacity had some good and needed hours of sleep to offer her before a new day began. Her brain, as always, seemed determined to keep her awake until sunrise, but her body responded with a yawn. Her eyelids felt heavier as she squinted, searching for an empty place to sneak in –there were some, but none enabling her to keep a good physical distance from the drowsy bodies already dispersed around. She’d begun moving towards the exit, considering sleeping in the second tent, when an almost inaudible growl stopped her halfway. The sight of the wookie waving to her incited Rey to change her mind; with a thankful smile, she reached him and laid back at his side, surprised herself at the trust she must have put in him.

“Thanks, you too,” she replied at his last growl before they both joined the choir of mismatched breathings lulling them to sleep.

The following days permitted Rey to finally feel useful within the Resistance : entrusted with the filling of the Falcon’s tank with the fuel containers provided by Taslin and the loading of some spare ones, she’d spent most of her time remote from the campsite, where the others had started befriending some other residents with a hope to find some new allies in them. Even though Poe had gently offered to swap, she’d declined the offer, pretending the ship required some upgrades she’d already started working on and wanted to finish. It wasn’t fully a lie : a general revision would do no harm to the ship, on the contrary. But deep down, she knew it also was an excuse to find herself alone, with a hope the connection would manifest once again : after numerous moments spent trying to figure out how it worked, she’d noticed it had always happened when no one was around, and concluded she needed to be away from any life form if she wanted to raise the chances seeing him appearing. At her disappointment –and increasing her trepidation- she’d spent the first day on her new duty with the sole presence of the porgs flying around her and crashing on the metallic walls, squealing from time to time for no reason except that filling the silence in which she'd been working absently.

She spent the next day intently absorbed in general maintenance work, not essential but perfect to keep her head and hands busy the whole day long. None of the flying creatures had managed to settle in the Engineering Bay, leaving her with nothing more to hear than the echoes of her own steps and the occasional sound of a screwdriver or any other tool meeting the empty ground every time her movements came a little too abrupt. The sun had already started to go down when her work was done, yet she didn’t feel like going back to the camp –not that soon. She didn’t have the strength to immerse herself in casual conversations, nor did she think she would be able to hear Poe grumbling again about Leia’s imminent departure to Naboo; Finn would usually nod at his complaints in a caring gesture, unable to firmly calm him down as Taslin would have done if he hadn’t gone back to Andui. Even if Rey shared the pilot's worry, it wasn’t something she wanted to deal with at the very moment.

After the umpteenth tool fell on the floor, the young woman slipped out of the room and started curiously wandering around the ship, letting her eyes explore every room she crossed path of. She’d never been alone in the Falcon before, and had even less had the occasion to probe the place without any need apart from the one to satisfy her growing curiosity. Room after room, she became more and more aware the place she was treading on had hosted a multitude of people, each carrying their own stories and leaving their very own mark she could feel. When she reached the Main Hold, she felt appealed by the drawers in which she’d put the texts a few days ago; once she’d squatted down, her hands instinctively made their way to open it. She put the ancient books aside to reveal a heap of objects she’d never noticed before, some shiny and others useless at first sight, probably personal belongings. The very thought of bumping to stuff that were not hers should have stopped her from going any further in her exploration, but a piece of paper caught her attention. Carefully, Rey drew the piece of paper towards her, which revealed to be a simple drawing, probably made by a child : three people, one smaller than the other two. The first was a woman with very long hair, wearing a dress and holding hands with the second, a man Rey easily identified as the former owner of this ship, recognizable by the blaster on his belt and said ship flying above him. A light smile made its way on her lips when she noticed Han didn’t even smile on a drawing, and her eyes lingered on the third person, her amused smile slowly turning into a cracked one.

One of the youngest porgs chose this moment to let out a squeal, causing her to jump at the unexpected noise. Not before she gave the creature a glower, the young woman put the drawing back where she took it, grabbed one of the books she’d left on the floor and buried herself in the reading, ignoring her growling stomach begging for dinner. However, as she progressed through the pages, her hunger grew and the night settled along with the idea that it might be time for her to return to the camp. As disappointed as the evening before, she still decided to finish the page she was on when a familiar silence suddenly wrapped up. Knowing what it meant, Rey looked around her from above the book, ignoring her now twined stomach.

A sigh of relief escaped from her parted lips when her eyes met his, before she caught sight of the fear slowly vanishing from his face as he left his reclining position to sit on the bench, facing her.

“Reading ?” He finally asked, breaking eye contact to point at the texts she was still holding.

She replied with a nod, noting his voice was as frail as Finn’s in the morning.

“Awaking ?” She asked back.

“It seems so.”

She remained silent for a few minutes, allowing him to emerge from his state at his own pace while she examined him. The majority of his outfit had disappeared, leaving him with the bare minimum; no cape, no gloves. She’d just noticed his nascent beard when his voice, slightly more composed, broke the silence.

“I remember this one," his voice was gentle, thoughtful even as he furrowed his brows.

Her eyes turned back on the book in her hands and she acquiesced, remembering the cover she’d examined before when she’d first opened it on Endor.

“Have you read it ?”

The second part of her question didn’t come out of her head, but judging by the nearly imperceptible crooked grin he made while staring at the ground, she didn’t need to add it.

“Partly. Years ago.”

The silence fell back on the room, driving both of them back into their respective pondering. The same thoughts that had crossed Rey’s mind during their last conversation came back, trying to set up the old familiar feeling of guilt she'd felt too many times in so little time. Deeply absorbed by her contemplation of the pages, she didn’t allow her eyes to linger on him until his voice rose again, exhausted but hesitant.

“Would you mind reading out loud ?”

The request left her baffled, but when she crossed his gaze, it appeared refusing wasn't an option she was considering to take. Uncertain yet willing to help him with whatever was troubling him, she cleared her throat and started reading aloud some stories –or legends, she wasn’t sure. At first, her reading voice wasn’t exactly soft, her eyes and tongue struggling to decipher or pronounce some words, both because of her infrequent readings and the awareness that she was actually being listened to. His frailty was noticeable from across the room, and it took her a great deal not to get on her feet and take the few steps separating them to comfort him. When she felt more comfortable with the reading, Rey peeked at the young man to find he’d laid back on the bench, which probably was a bed from his side. She carried on, not even paying attention to the story she was telling anymore, until he fell asleep and vanished, leaving her in a ship emptier than ever.

 

The following days, Rey made an effort to mingle with everyone by joining and helping them as best possible : she was still an awful element when it came to try bonding with Maz’s clients, but eventually managed to help lift some heavy materials,, facilitating the droids and other workers' task and accelerating the castle’s reconstruction. Among all impressed eyes, those of Rose were the most present. It had become a habit for her to accompany Rey when she distanced herself from the camp, either was it for lightsaber training or nights when her mind didn't allow her to find sleep and kept playing some memories tirelessly until the tent felt too small for her thoughts. Finn would join the training sessions from time to time when he wasn’t busy, watching or fighting his friend, but as the days passed, he became more and more involved in his "befriending mission" and slowly became reachable only during dinner.

 

“Rey ?”

The voice drove Rey away from her meditation –or at least her attempt- and the lightsaber fell on the ground as she turned her head to see Rose approaching, laden down with enough food to feed the increasing colony of porgs overwhelming their ship.

“Sorry, I just… You didn’t come to dinner, but I thought you’d like to eat something.”

The young woman addressed a thankful smile to her new friend, made way for her to sit by her side and gladly accepted the impromptus picnic. She was unable to state how long she’d been here, sitting in the middle of the forest, trying to focus on the levitation of her weapon. She’d seen him control it remotely, and had made it her new goal to do as well; so far, she’d only managed lifting it above her head, less shaky each try but still not comfortable enough to try lit it. When she noticed Rose taking a bite of bread, Rey tilted her head as she took a bite as well.

“You didn’t eat with them ?”

Rose shook her head in a negative response.

“Poe wouldn’t stop complaining.”

They nodded and sighed in unison, bitter both at the pilot’s behavior and at the thought of General Organa leaving them the next day : Taslin had returned from the capital earlier in the morning aboard the small yet respectable ship he’d bought on Leia’s orders, rendering her imminent leaving abruptly real -too real at Rey’s taste, for she’d tried to put this thought aside just as the others, unsuccessfully. Away from the nervousness of the camp, the two women seized the peacefulness of the area, eating in silence, internally thankful for the other’s discreet presence. After a moment, the former maintenance worker broke the silence with her hesitant voice.

“Do you think you could teach me ?”

Taken away from a short blank, Rey turned to Rose and repeated with an inquiring look, “Teach you ?”

“How to fight.”

“I’m not…”

“I’m not trained for anything except maintenance work, I don’t think I’m ready for what’s to come.”

The determination in her eyes seemed to fight the innocence of her face. Rey had never asked about her age, but realized she mustn’t be older than her –one or two  years at the most.

“I can try.” She finally agreed, getting on her feet and tossing a stick to Rose, beckoning her to follow suit while she grabbed her own weapon on the way.

Next to the riverside, they switched roles as often as it felt needed, going from her attacking Rey to the reverse, the stick hitting against the switched off lightsaber its owner used as her former quarterstaff. Rose had begun mastering some basic parries when one of Rey’s legs suddenly creased under a pain she wasn't expecting, making her drop on the ground, surprised.

“Rey ?”

Rose’s voice rang out far away, muffled by a deafening silence quickly wrapping around Rey. Her eyes didn’t search for him for long : they both raised their heads at the same moment, face to face, as stunned as the other.

“Ben ?”

Judging by his position, he’d just fallen on the ground as well. Ignoring Rose’s remote questions she could not clearly hear, Rey frowned as she noticed his panting breath.

“Ben, what’s happening ?”

In a way she couldn’t explain, she felt her heartbeat speeding to align with his and caught sight of a single drop of blood running from his temple, contrasting with the fairness of his skin.

“Where are you ?”

Her voice lost all restraint as the seconds passed; she’d started extending a shaking hand in a hope to draw him to her when he started mumbling something she didn’t understand at first, brought to a halt every now and then to flinch.

“What are you-“

“Three, two, four, four, five-“ he kept repeating on loop, maintaining eye contact with Rey until he knew she understood what he was telling her.

“Rose-“ she called all of a sudden without taking her eyes off his, “Rose, please- please, keep it in mind.”

“Keep what ?” She didn’t seem aware of his presence, but Rey’s panic had quickly gained her.

“Three, two, four, four-“

She repeated after him with difficulty, fighting the quavering settling in her voice for the numbers to come clear to Rose as she felt her vision blurring.

“… seven, three, eight.” He achieved with a faltering voice before the connection cut off abruptly.

“Seven, three, eight.” Rey repeated almost in a murmur, her eyes still fixed on where he was standing seconds before as the silence disappeared to make way to a different one, in which Rose kept looking at Rey with a mixture of incomprehension and worry.

“What was that ?” She finally dared to ask, offering Rey a hand to help her get back on her feet.

The only words she managed to pronounce, coupled with her still frozen gaze, betrayed the shock overwhelming her. He was in danger, she had no doubt about it.

“We need to find General Organa, right now.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How happy I was to write force bonds again ! I'm all about Rey and Rose being friends, and loved exploring Leia's point of view and feelings. I hope you liked this chapter, the next one shouldn't be long to follow ;) Don't hesitate to give me your impressions !


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've just started using moodboards, so have a quick look at the different landscapes of this chapter below ! I also did a moodboard for each of the knights so you can picture them a bit more. Tell me if you like these and if I should keep sharing the music I listen to while writing !

[Gania](https://zupimages.net/up/18/10/eqom.png)       [Seyda](https://zupimages.net/up/18/10/0ezl.png)      [Evin](https://zupimages.net/up/18/10/fl4l.png)            [Tulan](https://zupimages.net/up/18/10/h5y1.png)     [Orell](https://zupimages.net/up/18/10/a3gs.png)   [Riyec](https://zupimages.net/up/18/10/zml1.png)

[background music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VIkr-RcQ4l0&t=23m)

 

Much to his surprise, Kylo’s second evening on Cato Neimoidia turned out as an enjoyable one, compared to the night before. After a silent walk back to their training field during which he’d avoided each of their gazes, Tulan had divided them in three pairs, each assigned to different tasks. While Gania and Riyec disappeared down the cliff for a quick night patrol, he headed away with Evin and Seyda, leaving Kylo alone with Orell and the cooking chore. If the young boy seemed pleased and used to making dinner for all of them, it was a task in which Kylo found himself being a disaster. He slightly remembered the nights they’d spent sleeping in the mountains and learning how to survive with nothing but their lightsabers and trust in each other, but the years in the First Order ranks seemed to have blurred some of his capacities in basic survival. Deeply focused in watching Orell expertly selecting and cutting pieces of meat just in front of him, he almost didn’t hear the boy calling him for the third time.

“I need the other knife –behind you, with the wooden handle,” Orell repeated. When he finally caught his attention, he motioned to the wall behind, raising his hands covered in the animal’s blood.

His ability to look as innocent as a child regardless of his bloody hands was impressive, Kylo noted as he opened a hand, waited for the knife to land in it and handed it, remaining as silent as he’d been for the last thirty minutes. Orell had been silent too, something rather unusual for him, engrossed in his task as if he’d done it a thousand times before –which, regarding his exactness, was very likely. As he watched him, Kylo couldn’t help but realize how he was different and yet similar to the young boy who’d followed him six years ago. He looked more like a young man than a boy, both because of the lifestyle he’d been accustomed to and the years that had passed; however, he still had that smile, one that had left the others long ago. A kind, encouraging smile that may as well be the remnant of an alternative life in which he would have lived his young years with carefreeness and friends instead of this exile.

“You know…” Orell started, his hesitation easily audible. After a few seconds, he looked up and added with a light smile, “It’s good to see you again.”

His eyes didn’t meet Kylo’s rising ones as he stared at the knife in his hands, nor did they witness the corner of his lips curving into a swift, imperceptible smile. Only minutes after they’d started a fire, Gania’s hand landed in Orell’s hair to ruffle it both in a playful and affectionate gesture. Careful as not to let go of the meat he’d begun to place upon the flames, the boy grunted more as a formality than a real irritation and looked up to the young woman while she started speaking.

“Riyec thinks I made it up, but I’m pretty sure I heard a gundark around the edge of the forest,” She stated as she took place next to him and tried picking a piece of their nearly cooked dinner, quickly stopped by a tap on her hand to which she responded with a smirk.

“Trust me, I didn’t’ spare any,” Riyec sighed as he sat next to her, facing Kylo with the same closed face he’d seen on him since he’d arrived.

They crossed eyes for half a second before both looking away, pretending to be highly absorbed by the fire between them. Of all the knights, he was the one Kylo had the most difficulty to convince their Master had turn against him; if truth be told, he even suspected Riyec had never really believed him. A friend wasn’t exactly what he could have considered him to be, regarding the little time they’d spent together. Before the destruction of Skywalker’s temple, Riyec had always been distant, to such an extent that Kylo realized he knew very little of him compared to the others.  He knew all about Evin’s harsh childhood; about how much Orell missed his home planet, parents and Gania - her brother. Tulan had always been the most generous when it came to his former life, happily obliging to share his people’s beliefs and stories while others like Seyda had waited years before opening up to her peers. Unlike Orell or Tulan, she was very mistrustful, a trait she shared with the two other girls.

“Dinner’s ready!” Orell suddenly announced, loud enough to make Evin, Tulan and Seyda’s heads simultaneously turn to them.

After exchanging an unfathomable look, the three of them nodded and reached the group in a few steps. While they silently took place around the fire, letting Orell serve each their own portion, Seyda cleared her throat and waited for everyone to look at her before she spoke in her own particular voice: low and calm.

“I noticed some newcomers at the edge of the city; mostly graysuits. Any chance you know them ?” She asked with a courteous tone as she cast a glance towards Kylo, her eyes betraying she already knew the answer.

“They’re with me,” He confirmed, holding her gaze. There was something in her penetrating green eyes, a glint that would have prevented anyone from lying to her. “I can make them leave. I have to meet them, before they forget about me or consider me dead," He added as he looked away.

“Did you… joke ?” Gania asked, eyes wide open while Orell was repressing a laugh on her left.

“I’ll go there in three days,” Tulan cut, covering the nervous laugh the two youngest were silently bursting into, “You can come with me.”

The atmosphere softened, mostly thanks to Orell and Gania’s contagious good spirit, allowing the dinner to go by without any new argument. Kylo only noticed an almost indiscernible laugh escape Riyec at the sight of Orell getting up to  put his knife back in the shed used as a kitchen pantry, but had been quickly stopped by Evin's glare. When the darkness of the night finally blinded them, Tulan was the first to wish them a good night before he disappeared, quickly followed by Gania and Riyec. One after the other they yielded to sleep, until Kylo found himself with the sole company of the weakening fire. His eyes remained fixed on the dancing flames slowly fading away as the freshness of the night settled. For the first time in days, he could feel his thoughts wandering without hammering on his forehead, passing but trying to drown him. Unused to this kind of tranquility in his mind, the young man frowned as he got up and distanced himself from the nearly extinguished fire, heading to the edge of the cliff. Even from where he stood, the forest seemed endless, wrapped up in the eternal fog of Cato Neimoidia stabbed by the moon beams spreading its light. A selfish, impromptu idea burst in him as his eyes lingered on where his ship might be, far away.  He could very well leave while they were asleep, leave everything behind him, and disappear on a remote planet. A wince shook his face as he remembered this was exactly what his uncle had done, not brave enough to face his mistakes. Another impromptu idea made its way to his mind : _at least, she would probably manage to find him_.

“So… Supreme Leader, is that it ?”

If he hadn’t been lost in his thoughts and contemplation of the landscape before his eyes, he would have felt her approaching. After a brief jolt, Kylo turned to face a smiling Seyda; relaxed and contained, as he’d always known her. He vaguely returned the smile as she took the few steps separating them to stand by his side, eyes closed as if she was enjoying the breeze on her face while the blanket she’d wrapped in stated otherwise.

“Still struggling with sleep ?”

He nodded futilely; she’d often seen him wandering around in their young years, fighting his nightmares with a nocturnal walk while she took advantage of the calm nights to work on whatever lesson they’d had the day before.

“I knew you’d come back,” she said after a few minutes of silence, causing Kylo to gaze at her, both surprised at her statement and her faith in him. For a second, he considered telling her his return hadn’t been planned at all, but changed his mind for a more cautious answer.

“You’ve always known everything,” he stated as a matter of factly.

“Not really. I still don’t know why you did,” she replied with the same calm, sweet voice.

None of her words had meant to make him feel questioned or judged; she’d always spoke her mind, bothered more about the dangers of unsaid things than decency. She’d always been a perfect apprentice -not to say the best- and a very good listener.  She’d spent countless hours sitting next to him, just offering her presence until he decided to speak or go back to sleep, depending on his mood. Even back then, he rarely unburdened himself; but the few times he’d done it, Seyda had remained silent. Silent but present.

“Me neither.” He eventually confessed, unable to hide a shadow of confusion clinging to his voice.

His own words took him back to the Finalizer, to that moment when he’d decided this would be his next destination. He’d felt alone and lost, with a need to feel like he belonged somewhere. A need to be surrounded by people he trusted, people who wouldn’t betray or abandon him.

“You’re welcome to stay as long as you need to.”

Her voice sounded different this time, as if she was wondering whether she should add something. Noticing her tone, he looked back at her with inquiring eyes until she seemed to find the right words.

“They’re just as lost as you seem to be. _We_ are.” She corrected herself in a whisper, almost losing her smile. A slight shiver shook her body as she tightened the blanket around her shoulders, and Kylo realized it was the first time he had seen her vulnerability. “We’re still here. We’ve always been. It was about time you remembered that.”

Before he could say anything, the young woman turned around and walked away, leaving him with a strange feeling as she disappeared in her shed. His eyes lingered back on the presumed area where his ship had landed, and the idea that crossed his mind minutes ago now seemed senseless. Later that night when he let himself drop on his bed, the young man felt like his shoulders had been freed from a weight they’d been carrying for so long. Unfortunately, bad habits had a way to come back when you least needed it; and as his heavy eyelids closed in search of a sleep he was craving for, voices that were not his echoed inside his head as a song he knew by heart. He didn’t even try chasing them away, until a distant once whispered the words he’d thought of for days. _What are we doing ?_ The words were not the ones he needed, but the voice was. Ignoring the others, he focused on it and opened a hand, just in case, as he fell asleep.

 

The following days, neither Seyda or any one of them asked again about Kylo’s intentions; instead, they involved him in their everyday life with an ease he would never have suspected. From night shifts to early morning hunts, they let him familiarize with the simple yet harsh life they’d been used to for years with a routine that allowed him to slowly feel more at ease with them. The daily trainings brought a sense of familiarity, fighting each other with sticks, stopping right before it struck and extending hands in cooperation to pick the adversary up.

Nothing to report, until the third day.

While he was crossing blades –or, more accurately, sticks-with Tulan, a screaming voice stopped both of them as well as Evin and Seyda. For a second, he thought Hux had decided to come find him in an upsurge of impatience, until he realized the voice was the one of Orell. A few meters from them, he came dangerously close to a laughing Riyec who, eyes closed, didn’t seem aware of the young boy approaching him, fists clenched and a look none of them had ever seen on his face, suddenly aging him and removing any trace of innocence from his eyes.

“What is he-” Evin started asking incredulously, but she almost immediately gasped and covered her mouth with her hands as soon as Orell’s fist met Riyec’s cheekbone.

His fist rose again, ready to hit the still laughing form, when he suddenly found himself force-pushed away. A few meters behind the spot he stood on seconds ago, Gania scowled at Riyec, her arm still stretched and shaking as she kept holding Orell back.

“What’s the matter with them ?” Kylo asked with a frown while Evin hurried to them, hands in the air as she started scolding the two boys with that terrifying voice she could take on in less than a second. In the course of the last few days, he’d noticed Riyec’s mockings but never really understood what it was about.

“Orell lost some of his abilities,” Seyda simply answered as Tulan sighed, arms crossed on his chest.

Wordlessly, Kylo watched Evin reprimanding Riyec while Gania calmed the young boy down with a softness he didn’t know she was capable of. Saying the conflict was quickly resolved would have been an overstatement; but at least the two men were separated for the day and no fight broke out again.

_The black, cold walls of a ship surrounded him as he took a few more steps towards the decrepit figure beckoning him to come closer. The voice that greeted him was almost a hissing, echoing the same it’d always did in his head for as long as he could remember. A face he’d only seen in his sleep, first threatening then slowly reassuring; a face that had always been here when everyone wasn’t. The wrinkled hand that landed on his cheek made him shiver._

His own hand landed on the wall by his side and at the feeling of irregular stone, the plain metallic walls of the Supremacy disappeared. When his eyes opened, he felt like he’d crossed the familiar blue ones of his uncle hovering him and his hands tightened their grip on his lightsaber’s hilt. He stared at them until they faded, making way for softer, hazel eyes staring at him; the freckles framing them gave her an incredibly impish look that contrasted with the combination of surprise and relief that dwelled her face. As he straightened up to sit on the edge of his bed, Kylo couldn’t help wondering if he wasn’t still dreaming : seeing her only a few feet away in the middle of the night was just as destabilizing as his nightmares -if not more- but in a very different way.

“Reading ?” He managed to ask with an almost composed voice, noticing the book in her hands.

 Her answer followed quickly, and made him wonder whether she was so far away that she’d already awakened or was just struggling with sleep as well, fighting whatever was keeping her awake with a nocturnal reading. When his eyes left hers to settle on the book’s cover, memories from a distant life slowly emerged. Legends, beliefs he’d grown up with and learnt about along with the people he was now reunited with.

“I remember this one."

His voice had softened, and he couldn’t repress the grin forming on his lips when she asked if he’d read it, with an undisguised curiosity in her voice. He vaguely confirmed as he lowered his head and stared at the ground, waiting for her to cut short to the conversation as she’d done the last time. Seconds of silence passed, and he started wondering if she’d vanished. A quick look to the other side of the room informed him that she hadn’t; judging by her dawning frown, she’d buried herself back in the book. Slowly, Kylo raised his head, allowing himself to examine her while she couldn’t notice it. His gaze stopped on the freckles wandering across her face, examining their constellation-like shape. Something about her presence soothed him, he realized while his eyes lingered on her absorbed eyes. Even if the sole idea was enough to make him steady lest she would disappear, he noticed it wouldn’t take him more than three steps to reach her side.

“Would you mind reading out loud ?”

He heard the words spilling from his lips before he thought of it. If this was still part of a dream, then she would agree. The young woman seemed as surprised as him, but she cleared her throat as a response, and began reading. Her voice was hesitant and she mispronounced half the words she stumbled on, but he wasn’t really paying attention to the stories in themselves. Getting him to sleep had always been something his parents had struggled with; while his father used to offer him the presence of his comforting arms to rest in, his mother would sometimes slip in his bedroom and lull him to sleep with stories about her home planet, depictions of the landscapes she’d grown up with and memories from her own childhood, all while caressing his cheek with her soft hand. Years had passed, but he’d never been able to tame the numerous nightmares haunting his nights; calming hands and arms had long disappeared, and he’d just became accustomed to it. When Rey’s voice steadied, he laid back on his bed and closed his eyes, until he slowly drifted into a more peaceful slumber.

 

“Oh, no. You’re certainly not going there like this.”

Kylo stopped halfway and followed Tulan’s eyes lingering on his clothes with a skeptical nod. A beam of early morning light crossed his face, slightly blinding him as he furrowed his brows, casting an inquiring glance at the Togruta.

“What’s wrong with _this_ ?” He asked with a twitch as his senior put a hand on his back, leading him towards the shed he’d seen him disappear in the night before.

“You want to melt away into the crowd, not stand out from it,” Tulan explained when they entered between the cold walls.

While his friend headed to a trunk leaning against the bed, Kylo looked around him with curiosity. It wasn’t much different from his own place, except for the numerous colored stones placed all around the room in a logic that escaped him. His hand was almost reaching one of the gems when a heavy fabric landed on his face with a muffled noise covering his gasp of surprise.

“Try it on, it should suit you.”

The robe did fit him, he noted as he put it on, but given the choice, he would never have chosen it. Covering his own clothes with the brown fabric cascading down his legs, he couldn’t help but notice a similarity with the old Jedi robes he wore almost a decade ago.

“Perfect.” Tulan commented with an emerging smile.

 

When they arrived in Zarra two hours later, Kylo understood why Tulan had recommended him to wear his hood before they landed : if the capital first inspired a curious feeling of prosperity, the more they sank into it, the more his hand drew near his belt, ready to catch and ignite his weapon as they walked through crowded markets and dark aisles. It wasn’t until they stopped by a tavern where Tulan quickly spoke with the tenant before heading back to the crowded streets that Kylo finally broke the silence.

“Still far ?”

Tulan shook his head as an answer, discreetly motioning to a Stormtrooper following them from a distance. He had to admit Hux always had one step ahead when it came to observing, but so did Tulan. Suddenly more confident about this unplanned meeting, the young man risked a look at the Stormtrooper and noticed a blaster loosely hanging from the side of his white armor.

Almost as soon as they left the city center, Stormtroopers became more abundant, easing their search for the General. They didn’t have to look for long : next to one Atmospheric Assault Lander visibly used as Hux’s land quarters, the red-haired man seemed in a deep conversation with Captain Peavey, who frowned as he noticed the two hooded newcomers approaching them. Before he asked the soldiers to get rid of them, Kylo let his hood fall loosely against his back, nearly regretting the mask they’d always identified him with.

“Supreme Leader”, Hux greeted him with pleased tone that sounded as fake as his smile before turning to Tulan. “And one of the much talked-about knights, I presume ?”

In response, Tulan took his hood off as well, causing Hux to longingly stare at the red tails of the Togruta, pursed lips and eyebrows raised at the surprise. For a few seconds, the General seemed to fight the impulse to say something but took a deep breath before looking back at his superior.

“Should I assume only one of them agreed to join us ?”

Kylo opened his mouth with a hope to find the right words to avoid both Hux’s further questionings, but Tulan was quicker.

 “We still need to discuss it, mister Hux. The knights take their decisions together.”

“General, actually.” He spat.

“ _General_.” Tulan hastened to correct himself with an agreeing nod and a peaceful tone. “Sorry if I offended your feelings.”

For a moment, Kylo remained unable to speak, wondering if the Togruta was playing with Hux or if he was just ridiculously polite and ignorant of the General’s pride. He was tempted to cast a glance at him, to see if something in his eyes could have betrayed him, but Hux’s voice rose again.

“Don’t be too long, Ren. Each passing day distances us from the Resistance.”

 “They won’t escape us,” He replied with the same insured tone he’d used the last time he’d needed to get rid of the man’s attention.

“I’m afraid they will,” Hux insisted. Taking a few steps forward, he held his superior’s gaze, blatantly ignoring the presence of Tulan. “And I suggest they quickly make their decision so we can return to our track and go back to our real projects.”

“Trust me, they won’t.” Kylo wearily repeated, hearing his own words as if someone else had pronounced them.

To his relief, the meeting didn’t last any longer;  after a formal nod, the General retreated to his temporary quarters.  Kylo and Tulan drew up their hoods before leaving the area, heading to the ship they’d come with. When they settled aboard after a long silent walk through the capital, Tulan took the controls and idly started the ship before turning to Kylo with the same slight smile he’d suspected an hour ago.

“Unbelievable amount of pride for only one being,” He casually commented as the ship took off.

 

However, back to the ancient village inhabited by the knights, there was no room for smiles and banters anymore.

“You can’t be serious…” Gania’s reaction finally broke the silence his offer had brought, her voice distorted somewhere between a laugh and a sigh. “Don’t get me wrong, I would give anything to leave this rock, but I’d rather stay here than be locked on a Battlecruiser with old men fighting with nothing but words.”

Next to her, Evin silently agreed as she kept sharpening her old dagger with a frown.

“As much as I wouldn’t mind a new landscape, I don’t trust this General Hux,” Tulan added with a preoccupied air.

“Me neither,” Kylo hastened to reply. “But with seven of us against him, he wouldn’t be much of a threat.”

His words didn’t seem to convince them. Even Orell, always keen to follow him, couldn’t repress a wince of disapproval. A new silence fell on them while they all considered the idea.

“We swore to follow you,” Seyda finally stated, setting her penetrating eyes on his. “If it means boarding a First Order ship, I will. But I won’t consider myself as part of it.”

It wasn’t the kind of answer Kylo had hoped for, but it was the most promising one since he’d mentioned the possibility for them to join the Finalizer. Touched by her loyalty, he silently thanked Seyda.

“Is that what you came for ?” Riyec suddenly asked. “Bodyguards ?”

He hadn’t addressed him since his return. Judging by the five sets of eyes turning towards him, Kylo wasn’t the only one surprised by the intervention. A rictus crossed Riyec’s lips as he stood up to face him; and as his gaze held his, he noticed the shadow of a defiant look on the man’s face.

“You needed someone to get rid of some Dirt General ?”

He took a step towards him with each word he said, so much that his face nearly touched Kylo’s, who stared at him steadily.

“Riyec, come sit back here,” Evin called with an unconcealed tiredness betraying the numerous times she must have said that.

“Not before he tells us why he came back,” The man spat without turning his eyes to her.

While they both kept relentlessly staring at each other, Tulan and Seyda started debating on the possibility, soon joined by Gania while Evin and Orell sheepishly listened, feeling the spirit of the last few days slowly fading away.

None of them heard the footsteps hitting the ground behind them. None of them saw the ten Stormtroopers slowly approaching them. But they all heard the firing blaster, as well as Gania’s cry of pain. They all turned to face the soldiers encircling them, and everything suddenly happened quickly : Evin tossed her dagger to Orell before stretching her hand towards the sheds alongside her peers. As soon as Kylo reached for his lightsaber, theirs landed in their hands and six blades ignited in unison. Gania naturally rushed towards the soldiers closest to Orell, ignoring her bleeding shoulder while she killed the first one with a few strikes of her green weapon and managed to keep the second one at a good distance, saving time while Evin rid herself of another one with her armed hand, the other still stretched out in the air. Not far from them, Tulan knocked an approaching Stormtrooper over and called a rock to fall on his head, thankful for the helmet to hide the disaster.

“Lightsaber in sight !”

Two seconds after he’d shouted the words, the weapon landed in Evin’s arm and she turned to throw it at its owner. Just in time before a Stormtrooper fired at him, Orell caught it and used its blue blade as a shield, sending the shot back at the soldiers just as Seyda finished him off. As the white armor met the ground, they caught side of Riyec and Kylo fighting side by side, occasionally crossing blades by accident while trying to hit the same target. Despite their critical situation, they still managed to cast threatening glares to each other. As his red blade crossed a Stormtrooper’s chest, Kylo took a step back at the sight of another one coming at him only to meet Riyec’s foot, who let a _Frag!_ escape him as he furiously cut an incoming soldier’s arm before he aiming his head in a deadly strike. Thinking the two remaining Stormtroopers kept at bay by Evin were the last, Kylo landed his hands on his laps to catch his breath and suddenly felt a sharp pain on his already harmed collarbone. A familiar deafening silence suddenly occurred as he felt something heavy banging his head and his knees meeting the ground.

“Ben ?”

Even as he felt the dizziness seizing his senses, Rey’s voice came clear and close to him. He could feel her fright as she peppered him with questions he couldn’t find enough strength to answer, everything including his thoughts being too painful for him to speak. _She wouldn’t come and find him_ he thought, knowing deep down how wrong he was. She had already done something similar, and her defiance was made of steel -but she couldn’t come here, not while Hux was here and sending his hitmen to him.

“Where are you ?”

But he needed her, he painfully admitted as he felt the movements of a fight skimming past him. If he was to die today, his last gesture would at least have been one towards her; one to let her know he accepted her help.

“Three, two, four, four, five. Two, zero, two, seven. Three, eight.”

He kept repeating the coordinates, staring at her with all the strength he could find as if he could have transmitted more than words by a simple gaze. When she finally repeated the numbers after him, he felt the ambient noises increasing more and more until she disappeared, quickly replaced by Evin trying to lift him up, almost begging him _to come back from whatever blank he was having again._ He regained consciousness with the pain hitting him again as Evin pressed her hands against his shoulders, trying to prevent him from falling.

“Come on, not the time to die.”

He agreed and tightened his grip on his lightsaber, making an effort to keep his eyes open and observe the situation. New Stormtroopers had appeared while he was partly away, more and more numerous as they kept fighting them. It was only a matter of time before they died: either from injuries or exhaustion.  They hadn’t eaten since the night before, and had no armor to protect their bodies from the shots they kept receiving.

"There are too many of them, we can’t stay.”

Evin nodded and followed him as he rushed to the center of the attack, where both Gania and Orell were struggling to push back their enemies while trying to communicate with Riyec and Seyda while Tulan brushed way as many Stormtroopers as he could with calculated hands gestures from a wall he’d managed to climb on.

“Riyec, Seyda, follow Evin as soon as you can !” Kylo shouted as he blocked an attack aimed at Orell, who immediately drilled a hole in his opponent’s armor. “Gania, Orell, you’re next.” He commanded as he looked at them out of the corner of his eyes to see their agreeing looks.

When she freed herself of one last soldier, Seyda furiously killed the one Riyec was still struggling with and they both ran towards the edge of the cliff, following Evin’s directions in order not to fall to the ravine.

“Orell-“ Kylo called, informing him his turn was coming as he made sure Tulan had understood his plan.

The young man nodded, pushing his adversary back with a firm kick in the chest, and sprinted towards the spot from where Seyda had just disappeared. Tulan held the Stormtrooper back when he tried to chase after Orell, and Kylo finished him off as he caught a glance behind him, making sure they’d all safely caught up with Evin.

“Gania-”

It was her turn, now. The fight seemed to have weakened her, but she nonetheless managed to cast him a satisfied smile as she stabbed one more Stormtrooper and turned back, ready to run. As before, Tulan blocked the remaining soldiers’s movements, and Kylo gestured to the Togruta, beckoning him to reach their escaping group the others while his blade met another shiny armor. The minute Tulan would leave the cliff, he would be facing them all by himself. A throbbing pain ran through his body as he received another shot in the arm, but he didn’t allow himself to get distracted : the lightsaber danced through his fingers, and the white figures hit the floor one after the other. He wasn’t directing his moves anymore, letting the Force guide him through each movement.

“Come on, now !” Evin’s voice called him.

He looked above his shoulder, to see Tulan and Gania were only a few meters away from their destination. After an exhausted grunt escaped his mouth, he took a deep breath as if to gather all remaining energy of his body and focused it on his hands : an invisible wind pushed the incoming Stormtroopers a few meters away. This was the moment he chose to turn back and run. He nearly forgot to turn his lighsaber off as he slid down the edge of the cliff, to meet Tulan’s stunned eyes, something he’d only seen once in his life. A quick look down the face of the cliff informed him that Riyec, Seyda and Orell had managed to reach Evin, already leading them into the depth of the forest.

“Where-“

A bad feeling captured him as he looked back to the spot he’d just left, to see the Stormtroopers beating a retreat. He didn’t understand until he saw her : Gania’s unconscious body was swinging, tossed over a soldier’s shoulder. Guilt quickly seized him as he watched her disappear, hurried to leave by Evin while Tulan’s broken voice made its way to his ears.

“It’s too late, we can’t do anything.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The more I write about the knights, the more I become attached to them !  
> Thank you for your comments and kudos, each one of these always make my heart skip a beat ! This is my first time writing fanfiction and I'm enjoying it, don't hesitate to tell me what you think, I'm very curious about your feelings towards what's happening in the story !


	11. Chapter 11

 

[background music](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdBAzaI54v8)

 

Rey treaded upon the dusty floor with flickering footsteps, nearly stumbling as she turned to Rose once again, each part of her trembling body screaming her distress.

“Four four two zero- what was it then ?”

“Three two four four, two zero two seven, three eight.” Rose repeated for the umpteenth time, struggling to keep up with her pace.

She’d been repeating the numbers tirelessly since they’d left the forest, both to make sure she didn’t forget them and at Rey’s demand. When they’d reached the edge of the campsite, Rose had already given up hope to understand what had just happened; blindly trusting her new friend even though she had no clue about the situation. This was both her greatest strength and weakness : a loyalty of steel that caused her to blindly trust people she came attached to. She’d only known Rey for a few days, but something in her had convinced Rose to rethink the first impression she’d had. She was nothing like the distant, flawless hero she’d had in mind when Finn had talked about her, but she could now understand his affection towards her. Something in her determination reminded her of Paige, enabling her to trust Rey with all her heart.

As they now crossed the silent campsite, Rey tried to focus on the remote voices she could hear, doing her best to chase his flickering voice away from her head. Worrying about his condition wouldn’t help in any way -it would even make it worse- but she couldn’t help feeling her racing heartbeat as she recalled the drop of blood running down his face and the sour pain she’d felt swarming about her leg. Her feet naturally guided her to the heart of the camp; roughly fifteen people had gathered around a table. As they came closer, she began to distinguish their faces illuminated by the lighting of candles spread all around the table. Half of them were unfamiliar faces, but seemed highly invested in a conversation with Lieutenant Caluan and Taslin, sometimes interrupting his own speech to take a sip of his glass. Silently sitting between Lieutenant Konnix and a complete stranger, Finn raised his eyes to meet Rey’s. The warming smile that started blossoming on his lips disappeared as soon as he noticed her state of panic as well as Rose’s; reaching them in a few steps after excusing himself. Giving the two girls an inquiring look, he searched their eyes for answers, nearly interrupting Rose who kept repeating the same numbers.

“Where’s the General ?” Rey asked him before he could manage to speak.

“She’s with Maz and Poe, at the castle. What’s the trouble ?”

His question remained unanswered : Rey was already heading to the ruins. Rose kept repeating the numbers in question as she shrugged, notifying him that even she wasn't aware of what was happening either. Furrowing his brows Finn followed them, both curious and worried at the sight of his friend’s haste.

“Is it serious ?” he pressed, catching up with them.

Rey ignored Finn’s desperation for answers, her eyes lingered on the three figures she could now discern as they approached the ruins of Maz’s castle. Night was slowly descending over Takodana, but even in the obscurity, she caught a glimpse of the Pirate Queen’s colorful skin as she turned her head to meet her gaze, no longer paying attention to Poe. With each step she took, Rey didn’t take her eyes off hers as well, recalling her first encounter with the alien and her words, clearer than weeks ago. She’d always had a spark in her eyes, as if she’d always known something the rest of them remained ignorant of. When she finally reached them, Rey broke the eye contact and turned to Leia.

“General, I need to talk to you.”

Breathing out the words in her shortness of breath, Rey realized she’d nearly been running since the connection had cut between her and Ben, and a twinge similar to the one she’d felt in the forest wondered all over her leg. The woman seemed to avoid her gaze, keeping hers on Poe while Maz took a few steps forwards, frowning.

“We’ll be done in a few minutes, I’ll see you after-”

“I think it’s a matter of life or death.” She cut abruptly, ignoring Poe’s stunned eyes at the sight of her insistence.

A range of emotions rushed on the woman’s face as she finally lingered her eyes on Rey. The first thing she noticed was astonishment, something she’d seen before when someone dared to challenge her orders. The strictness that had landed on her face was soon replaced by concern; betrayed by her narrowing eyes coupled with the same curiosity inhabiting Poe, who kept trying to catch Finn’s glance in a hope to understand what was going on.

“It’s-it’s Ben.” Rey managed to whisper between her shaking lips.

The General’s features softened at the mentioning of her son, and her lips parted as she held Rey’s gaze. A silence settled on the group, only broken by Rose: still murmuring the numbers to herself under Finn’s concerned frown. After what felt like endless minutes, the General took the few steps separating them and landed her hands on her still shivering shoulders.

“How do you know ?”

The woman’s voice sounded calm, but her eyes gave away the fear slowly filling her; and for a moment, Rey wondered if she feared for her son or for the answer to come.

“I…”

The five pairs of eyes scrutinizing her tightened the lump in her throat, where the missing words remained stuck. She hadn't thought about the way she would explain, and had absolutely not planned for it to be a public announcement. The same feeling of guilt she’d fought for the last few days struck again as she inhaled deeply, carefully choosing her words before she held the General’s gaze with an intensity she hoped would speak more than her words. There was no room for error, even less with such an audience.

“I saw him.”

Leia’s eyes opened wider before she cast a glance around them, as if her son were to appear from behind one of the massive stones scattered all around the place.

“What do you mean you saw him ?” She asked in a whisper, her hands tightening their grip on her shoulders.

There was something of a hurry in her tone, almost desperate yet afraid to hear the answer. Something encouraging in her eyes incited Rey to consider opening up about the connection –no, the several connections- she’d shared with him. For a brief moment, she needed someone else knowing about it, to listen to her doubts and hopes, telling her she wasn’t making a grave mistake and above anything, to let her speak in his favor. But Poe stepped in before she could say anything.

“Who’s him ?” His open hands faced the sky as he tried to understand the conversation between the two women.

“Ben solo.” Maz replied with a hint of an unfitting delight in her words.

All eyes inquiringly turned to her, while Maz's remained fixed on Rey. Something in the way she looked at her suddenly made Rey understand she knew. Maz could feel her distress, Rey noticed, as clear as she could feel Maz’s rapture contrasting with the ambient malaise. All of a sudden, the one who called herself 'Pirate Queen' appeared as a sympathetic ear, if not a precious ally.

“Your son ?”

Rey’s eyes turned to Poe as she heard his voice rising again in an incredulous tone, to see he’d come closer to them. All trace of casualness had left him, leaving nothing but a contrariety distorting his brow under the messy curls falling over his forehead.

“I thought he'd died?" The pilot questioned, crossing his arms athis chest. He didn’t remove his eyes from his superior, slightly tilting his head while waiting for an answer.

The previous need to share with Leia about her connection with her son suddenly left Rey when she realized. Like her brother before her, General Organa had brushed Ben’s existence away and altered the truth with a much more pleasant version; an easier story to tell, one that had protected her from embarrassing questionings as the ones she was finally facing tonight. They’d both detached themselves from his mistakes, then from him, ignoring everything from his origins to their own role in his fall –and suddenly, Rey understood what she’d sensed in him. Lies seemed to have a way to make reality less painful, in their family.

“You mean… you didn’t know ?” Finn finally asked, not bothering to hide his disbelief.

Rey and him exchanged an intrigued look, both recalling that night on Starkiller Base. The night they’d witnessed Han Solo’s death in the hands of his own son. The night she’d felt something rip up in her chest stronger than she would have expected. However, tonight, her chest was not filled with grief but disappointment as she gazed back at General Organa. The eyes she met were those of a helpless woman, facing truth with both guilt and pain; deep, brown eyes reminding her of those that had made her cross the galaxy with nothing but hope and a lightsaber. Pushing her disillusionment away, Rey addressed an imperceptible nod to the General, hoping for her gaze to convey her support as she watched the woman open her mouth and search for her words.

“My son… disappeared, years ago.” She whispered, before finally confronting the pilot’s gaze. In a split-second, she seemed to regain her composure and straightened up, rising her voice so the whole group would hear. “He left his life behind, and took on the name Kylo Ren.”

Poe’s reaction wasn’t long in coming : while Lieutenant Konnix settled for an inaudible gasp, the pilot’s frown intensified and he looked alternatively at Leia and Rey before lingering his eyes on Finn.

“How come you knew ?” He articulated in an attempt to make his voice sound less harsh, which failed.

It was Finn’s turn to frown at the sight of his friend’s stupefaction.

“I just… knew.”

As he shrugged, Rey noticed the quick peek he gave her; his eyes, as expressive as ever, brought her a sense of relief when she understood Finn trusted her despite the confusion that seemed to inhabit him. A new feeling of guilt hit her as she realized she could have confided in him from the beginning; Finn would have been on her side. But deep down, she had selfishly preferred to keep everything secret. After a moment of silence, Poe spoke again with that unusual composed voice as he started nervously walking around them.

“So… let me get this straight : The head of the First Order is in danger, and you want to go save him ?” Poe pressed, heavily breathing between his words as to calm himself down.

Rey firmly nodded, unable to look him in the eyes lest hers would betray her impatience. Every muscle of her body screamed her to hurry them, yet the pilot’s reaction was still hard to predict. She was to play a game of words and patience in a moment of haste, all the while trying to tame the temptation of running away without approval.

“Why ?” He added, finally stopping in front of her with his arms still crossed.

All eyes lingered back on her at the question, and Rose stopped repeating the numbers. An unpleasant feeling of deja-vu made its way to Rey as she remembered Skywalker's disapproving blue eyes looking at her under the rain. They were expecting a justification. She couldn’t allow herself to linger any longer.

“Trust me. Please.” She murmured as she stared at Leia with a pleading voice painfully reminding her of Ben’s.

Leia considered the young woman in front of her for a moment, doing her best to think as a General; but her heartbeat was too loud under the uniform’s light fabric for her to ignore her maternal instinct. All reason had definitely left her as soon as the name of her son had been pronounced; and for the first time in months, if not years, she caught a glimpse of pure, strong hope for his return as she stared back at Rey. Even though she’d never been trained, Leia had become used to the Force flowing through her; a sixth sense in which she would often rely when dealing with politicians or strangers one could easily be wary of. This instinct had remained her most trustful ally in times of doubt, and never failed her. From the moment she’d set her eyes on Rey, she'd known she could trust her; now was the time to bet on the Force and its will.

“Don’t take the Falcon,” Leia finally replied after a few silent seconds, “and let Chewbacca come with you.”

Poe turned to the General with an even more astounded look, but both she and Rey ignored him.

“Thank you-” Rey managed to mumble, a shiver traveling down her body. She couldn’t find more powerful words to convey her gratitude, but the gaze they both held felt meaningful enough to her. The muscles of her legs suddenly tightened as if to remind her how time was running out; and as she was about to turn back, the words she was looking for appeared as an evidence.

“Please… Wait for us.”

“I will”, assured General Organa. Her face seemed to host a fight between relief and anticipation while trying to regain composure under Poe’s unfathomable eyes.

“Hurry up, dear.” Maz intimated.

With a knowing nod, Rey finally turned back and sprinted towards the campsite under three astounded pairs of eyes. As soon as she disappeared, Poe covered his mouth with a hand and thoughtfully stared at the ground for a few seconds before raising his head back up to meet Leia’s gaze.

“I’ve had enough for tonight.”

He instantly regretted his words when he saw the eyes of his General darken and her head lowering under the weight of what he assumed was shame. He tentatively outstretched a hand to reach her shoulder, but Kaydel stopped him halfway, signaling him to leave with an accusing expression. He wasn’t the only one struggling to assimilate the situation he realized as he stepped back. Even in the darkness of the nascent night, he couldn’t help notice her shoulders drop, rhythmed by a series of deep breathings he knew too well –the ones he would align with when trying not to lose all composure in front of his squadron when a peer had disappeared. Ashamed, Poe slowly became aware of Leia’s humanity, and the losses she’d had overcome in the last weeks, all the while leading the Resistance.

“I’m sorry“ Was all he could whisper before disappearing as well, head down, towards the campsite.

Finn followed Poe with his eyes, unable to speak nor hold him back. When his friend was finally out of sight, the former Stormtrooper turned to Rose, examining her as if he hadn’t seen her face in days. It was true, in a way : from the moment the young woman had woken up, he’d found himself rather uncomfortable around her, still baffled by the kiss she’d given him on the battlefield before collapsing in her broken cockpit. He hadn’t known how to respond to that gesture, and still had no clue. Saying he didn’t think about it every time their eyes met would be a lie; he wished he could have run to her and kiss her back the minute she'd awoke. But it appeared some wishes were more intricate than what it seemed.

“Three two four four, two zero two seven, three eight.” She told him as if she’d read his mind.

A strong determination masked her face, but under this frown of hers, Finn could perceive how afraid she was. All of a sudden, the Rose he’d traveled to Canto Bight with disappeared, making way for the girl he’d caught sight of crying in the Raddus machinery room, mourning her sister in solitude. She’d already lost too much in this war. They all had, Finn corrected himself as he recalled Poe’s tears from the night before, when he thought no one could hear him under the blanket he often used to cover his head.

“Three two four four.. two zero two… seven. three eight.” He repeated. “These are coordinates, right ?”

Rose nodded, and Finn understood what her sharing the information meant. Placing the same mask of determination on his face, the young man nodded as well and took the few steps separating them so he could hold the small woman in his arms. Some gestures were sometimes better than words, he realized as he felt like his fear and regret echoed in their embrace.

“Sorry”, he whispered in her ear as he held her closer. He knew he would have to leave the moment he would let go of her –and Maker knew if he would ever see her again. He'd spent his life hating the scheduled-calculated Stormtrooper life, and the uncertainty of this war had him on serious edge. Fearing for his friends’ lives the second he met them was definitely not how he'd imagined his escape to be like.

“Hurry up.” Rose replied, freeing herself from his arms and motioning towards the camp where Rey had disappeared minutes ago.

 

"I’m going with you.”

Even though she’d recognized Finn’s voice, Rey winced at its sound. Her right hand had instinctively moved to the weapon hooked on her loose belt, while the other had dropped her bag, spilling its contents in the humid grass.

“No, you’re not,” She retorted as she kneeled, picking the food portions while Chewbacca remotely approved with a groan. Waking him had not been an easy task, but as on Ach-To, the Wookie had hopefully not been hard to convince as soon as Ben’s name had been pronounced.

“I wasn’t asking.” Finn informed her as he leaned at her side, helping her putting the rations back in her bag.

His voice was nothing of the one she’d expected; it was a soft, peaceful one, deprived of the anger she’d feared and perfectly balancing her tumultuous heart threatening to escape from her chest. Nearly sitting on the ground, Rey allowed her eyes to linger on her friend; and as she scrutinized his dark iris, she realized all that was left of the lost boy who’d asked her to run away with him a few weeks ago were those pleading eyes and a loyalty beyond limits towards her. The stubbornness had always been here, but spending time with Poe had undoubtedly increased this trait.

“Besides”, he added as they both got up, “Rose told me the coordinates.”

A sigh escaped Rey at the realization that she’d been about to leave without the most important information, if not the only one she needed. She reconsidered him for a second : thanks to the years spent in the First Order’s ranks, Finn knew how to fight but most importantly, he knew how they fought. Since she ignored all about her destination and what she would find there, his presence could reveal itself as a precious advantage.

“Alright.” She agreed quickly before her protective tendencies towards the young man showed up and make her change her mind. “Come on.”

As they headed to the small ship Taslin had brought earlier –probably a stolen one, according to its condition- Rey redoubled her efforts not to picture the comatose Finn she’d dragged in the snow not long ago. She tried to forget about the risks, about the impulsiveness of her act, when a voice echoed in the night, calling her friend.

“Finn !”

Poe was running to them closely followed by BB-8, his messy curls bouncing at the pace of his strides until he stopped just in front of them. Breathless, he hunched for a few seconds, hands on his lap under the intrigued eyes of the former Stormtrooper. When he finally caught his breath, the pilot straightened up, his eyes firmly locked on Finn. A thousand words seemed to jostle each other behind his lips as he stared, until he took the last step separating them to take Finn in an unexpected embrace. His arms wrapped around him and held his body with a strength betraying the storm raging into the pilot’s chest as he whispered the words he’d been searching for, eyes fixed on an invisible point above Finn’s shoulder while his droid gently hit the young man’s leg.

“You better come back.”

"I will”, Finn responded with an amused voice dusted with apprehension. “I need a pilot.”

Silently agreeing to ignore the other's glazed over eyes while freeing each other with a cracked laugh. Poe opened his mouth as if about to say something as he reduced the space between them. He’d become immune of departures : his, his friends’, they all left one day or another –but this one was by far the most difficult he’d had to deal with in years. Maybe it was the circumstances, or the habit he’d grown of seeing Finn around all day long, laughing at his old jokes, listening to his night stories when insomnia stroke. When he caught sight of Rey, Poe closed his mouth and silently took his jacket off.

“Don’t lose this one”, he warned as he handed it to Finn before beckoning him to embark on the ship. After a last waving, their two figures disappeared behind the rising access ramp. Minutes later, the Commander watched the ship becoming a black dot, then leaving Takodana’s atmosphere. His heart missed a beat as they jumped to hyperspace, leaving an empty night sky and his freezing silhouette behind them.

 

 

The ship wasn’t as spacious as the Falcon, but the commands were undeniably more advanced, Rey noticed as she set the autopilot mode. It was half the Freighter’s size, but still contained the necessary: a quarter’s room including bunk beds, a respectable cockpit and enough space for Finn to pace up and down. The young man hadn’t spoken a word since he’d entered the coordinates into the panel, and Rey was voluntarily delaying leaving her co-pilot seat. Finn was the first to finally break the silence as the rays of lights wrapping them passed before their eyes, nearly blinding them.

“If I’d known I would be going back to the First Order to save their leader…” He mumbled while putting Poe’s new jacket on.

Rey bit her lips, becoming aware of what her friends was ready to face by accompanying her on this unofficial mission.

“I’m not sure we’ll meet the First Order,” Rey said as she left her seat to reach him, leaving the control panel between Chewbacca’s skilled hands. Hesitant, she placed her hand on his shoulder and gestured him to follow her as she left the cockpit, heading to the back of the ship in a hope to find some weapons the previous owner might have left.

“What makes you think that ?” Finn asked with a frown, on her heels.

“I don’t know… a sort of instinct.” They had reached the quarter’s room, where Rey started examining every plausible hiding place. Hearing her own words, she realized her answer was nothing more than an alternation from the truth –just what she’d been offended of from General Organa and her brother. Finn was willing to follow and help her despite his natural and understandable aversion towards his former leader. She owed him the truth.

“I saw him”, she added while standing up to face her friend, allowing her to meet his gaze. “He looked… not like a Supreme Leader would.”

“When you say you saw him…” He didn’t go to the end of his question, yet regarding Rey’s embarrassed sigh, she seemed to understand.

“Well… sit down.”

The conversation went easier than she’d expected, Finn revealing himself to be a very attentive listener, not interrupting her once. She’d started from the beginning : their unexpected connection on her first morning on Ach-To, the truth about his Master’s attempt, the exploration of the cave followed by a vision of him joining the light, and, finally, her visit to the Supremacy. Finally sharing the truth with someone helped her feel lighter, her guilt slowly vanishing – she had nonetheless remained careful to spare some details, selfishly wishing to keep a part of this story for herself. When it came to what she’d seen of him earlier that day, Finn raised a hand to signal a question.

“Do you control this… connection ?”

“Absolutely not.” She added a slight shake of her head to her reply.

They fell silent again, Rey expecting a reaction from Finn while he processed the information, wide open eyes staring at the bed across him. After a few minutes that felt like hours, he turned to Rey and spoke again.

“I trust you. It’s just… hard to believe you’re actually talking about Kylo Ren.”

“Ben Solo”, Rey instinctively corrected. The name escaped her faster than she'd had thought of it, straightening her confidence in her vision.

A distant roar from the cockpit reached them, announcing their imminent landing of a planet Rey had only heard about once or twice. Frowning at the name of it, she returned to the cockpit and sat back in the co-pilot’s seat next to the Wookie.

“Cato Neimoidia ?”

Her narrowed eyes examined the rocky planet they were approaching. Of all the planets in the galaxy, he’d choose one of the most isolated –probably a family trait, now that she thought of it. The planet wasn’t one of the biggest, but as they crossed its atmosphere, it appeared that exploring it from top to bottom would probably take more time than they had ahead of them.

“Where, now ?” Finn asked as he slipped himself into the narrow cockpit to watch the foggy landscape from which mountains and forests appeared from time to time.

Unable to give her friend a proper answer, Rey motioned Chewbacca to switch placed and shut off the autopilot mode. As she allowed manual shifting, she took a deep breath and focused on her aim. She’d felt his presence across lightyears; to find the path leading to him could only be easier now that they were so close from each other. Fighting the instinct suggesting her to close her eyes, Rey guided the ship lower; after some blurred seconds during which they passed through a massive cloud, the mountains seemed to have sharpened their peaks, adding a layer of wilderness to the scenery.

After agreeing to avoid the cities and crowded places, the trio hovered around the most secluded areas of the planet, scanning the landscapes before their eyes. Finn’s eyes had almost started drying when he jumped and pointed something on the top of a cliff.

“There ! Go closer.”

Blinded by a beam of moonlight, Rey nonetheless nodded as she drew the ship to land on the rocky surface Finn had pointed out. He was the first one to get out and step on the dusty ground, but it was Rey who first understood what the white figures scattered all over the place were.

“Finn-“ she started, but her friend had already started walking to it.

His eyes landed on the form his foot had just bumped into, and his stomach knotted itself at the sight of the same armor he’d worn for the majority of his life. They were his enemies now, he thought while trying to convince his eyes to turn from the pool of blood surrounding the body covered with shiny material and dust. Enemies, he repeated himself, going down on his knees. He remembered how much he hated this helmet as he cupped it between his hands, slowly taking it off the soldier’s head to reveal a face he’d never seen.

Judging by his young features, he boy wasn’t much older than him. No one would neither remember nor mourn him. Only acknowledging now the single tear streaming down his face, Finn shook his head in an attempt to stay focused on their mission. Gritting his teeth to prevent other tears to leave his eyes, he continued taking parts of the armor off the young soldier then approached the other bodies, taking their helmets off as well.

“Can you take it inside ?” He asked Chewbacca, pointing out the armor.

Not without a shrug, the Wookie roared his agreement and picked the whites pieces under Rey’s intrigued eyes.

“They’re gonna send others to retrieve their weapons”, he explained with a deep voice. “I want them to see their faces. To see who they sent to death.”

She nodded, feeling his anger and grief fighting inside him to take on his composure and unleash. Unsure about his need of her presence or not, Rey walked through the battlefield towards what looked like the ruins of a small village. It seemed abandoned long ago –yet she could feel young presences between the small houses –unknown signatures in the Force, surrounding her as she walked between the ruins. He’d been here, she realized as she passed by what must have been a small house. Her curiosity seemed to increase, encouraged by the growing instinct she’d become more and more aware of each passing day. The same curiosity she’d felt towards the tree on Ach-To drove her to open the curtain probably used as a door, and step in the shelter.

The room was nearly empty apart from a makeshift bed made of straw and a heavy fabric similar to the curtain. Nothing to see, except a dark form on the ground that seemed no bigger than her bag. Drawn to its familiarity, Rey kneeled down to pick it up. As soon as her hand touched it, she realized whose cape it was –slightly ripped, but still identifiable. His body not lying next to the Stormtroopers’ should have reassured her, yet she remained unable to chase her concern away at the sight of his item lying on the floor of a half destroyed hut at the top of a cliff, on a planet she’d barely heard of before this day. Her eyes lingered on the bed as she put the item of clothing in her bag, and she wondered if this was the one he’d fell asleep on while she’d read the texts in the Falcon, days ago.

“Rey ? You should come see it.” Finn’s voice called from outside.

The first thing she saw when stepping outside was Finn carrying way too many weapons for one man, and a forced smile distorting his lips.

“Where did you find it ?” Rey asked as she freed him of two blasters threatening to fall from his arms.

Finn motioned his head to another small house the entrance had been covered with a curtain, but a hoarse cry arising from the forest below caught their attention.

“Probably a gundark," he hypothesized, his voice almost immediately covered by a scream coming from the same direction.

“Not only," Rey corrected on a state of alert. She remained still, staring at the forest, awaiting for another sign when a second voice screamed something barely audible but clearly panicked. Her legs intuitively started walking towards the source of the noise, but Finn was faster : letting go of all the weapons he’d been carrying, he gripped her arm and pulled her back.

“No- what if it’s the First Order ?”

“What if it’s not ?” she asked back, freeing her arm from his hand in a stroke of shoulder.

The young man retorted something she didn’t hear, already running to the edge of the cliff. Her familiar intuition strengthened as she passed by Chewbacca and started climbing down the steep side of the cliff, miraculously avoiding falling straight into the ravine. Deafened by the relentless sound of her heart drumming its pace against her temple, she didn’t notice Chewbacca following her nor Finn calling her name from above.

When her feet finally landed on the ground, another voice rose from the trees, guiding her steps. Bushes and thorns scratched her bare arms and cheeks as she thrust through the vegetation, not even bothering to push the branches away. The screams became clearer as she approached the heart of the forest, until she could distinguish different voices seemingly shouting directions to each other. Another hoarse cry echoed again, undoubtedly coming from the creature Finn had mentioned earlier. A cry of pain tangled with the animal’s, followed by a silence that stopped Rey in her race.

“Orell !”

The voice, feminine, sounded closer than ever. Whoever was in these woods, they were now only a few steps apart. Out of breath, Rey ran her hand to the lightsaber hooked at the back of her belt and slowed her pace down, attentive to the surrounding noises. The more she sunk into the forest the less she could see, the thick trees preventing the stars to light her way. Either was it by the Force guiding her or the distance reducing between them, she could now hear them breathing heavily, whispering words that still didn’t made their way to her ears. Quietly approaching in an attempt to hear their conversation and maybe recognize the voice she was looking for, Rey suddenly found her foot tripping over a root she hadn’t noticed.

A succession of noises then blended in a confusing cacophony : the familiar buzzing of lightsabers igniting, joined by a loud groan from Chewbacca and the sound of his bowcaster being stretched, ready to fire. Rey ignited her lightsaber as well, narrowing her eyes to adjust to the sudden luminosity produced by the weapons in front of her. There were six of them : two green and three blue blades -bright and steady, ready to strike. But her attention was held by a thrumming, red one that made her eyes open wider. Her lips parted at the deep breath she took to balance the uneven beating of her heart.

Even wrapped in a brown robe, his height and weapon betrayed him. The light of his blade mixed with the blue one held by a young woman standing by his side illuminated his face with a purple light, allowing Rey to see his eyes and dive hers in it. He was alive. Without taking her eyes off of him, she switched her lightsaber off and let it fall on the moist ground with a muffled noise. The red blade vanished as soon as she took a step forward, and everything seemed to disappear around them. His face was covered with bruises, she noticed as he took a few steps as well, but the blood had disappeared from his forehead.

It felt like the distance between them had never been so short and yet so far. Just as she had on her last night on Ach-To, Rey felt the need to feel him close to her, to know he was there. She took another step and slowly started extending a hand, cautious not to make any sudden move as she’d learnt back on Jakku when approaching something unknown. She suddenly wondered if he was really here, and saw the same question twisting his face with a frown.

Before she could take the last step separating them, Rey suddenly found herself surrounded by arms that could have crushed her in the blink of an eye. A shiver ran through her spine as she felt Ben’s hands gripping on her back with a restraint she could feel through the connection tightening around them. The same jolt traveled through their bodies when they realized they’d never been so close to each other, and Rey finally allowed her arms to cling to his shoulders.

Unlike his cautious embrace, hers became more squeezing as she gave up on repressing the need to draw herself closer. Too small to place her head on his shoulder, she buried her face in the crook of his neck and took another deep, relieved breath when both their chest heaved against the other’s in unison, shaking. It was as if a fire had lit in her, traveling through her whole body and ending its race in her heart to hasten its drum, dulled by tears that were not hers running through her hair and face.

She could have stayed like this long if his grip on her hadn't tightened slightly before loosening to a great extent, bringing her back to reality. His head knocked hers as she tried to move to see what was happening, and she suddenly felt his body leaning against hers with all its weight. Her legs gave up but not her arms, supporting Ben with all the strength she’d been given as she felt her knees abruptly meeting the ground while his warm breath slowed against her cheek.

“Chewie-“ she managed to call in a whisper before her arms let go of the unconscious body under which she helplessly disappeared, breathless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY, they meet again ! I couldn't wait to write this reunion, it took me time to write it but now the Reylo vibes can trully be unleashed !
> 
> Chapters 2, 3 & 4 now have moodboards as well !


	12. Chapter 12

__

 

 

_The night descended quickly seemingly enticing all living life around to sleep in the blink of an eye. The day had flown by in one of the most common ways: training, meditating, and at last, personal time. Meditation was always Ben’s favorite part of the day, being the only time he could brush the Voice out of his head and taste a semblance of peace within his mind, explore the calmness he was able to find if he found himself focusing well enough. A break in time, a glimpse of the serenity they had promised he would find here, by his uncle’s side._

_For a time, he thought he had found it- the Voice had become distant and the friendships strong, giving Ben a glimpse of this feeling of ‘belonging’ their Master tried to instill in them. He almost let go of the desire to go back home: his parents wanted him to succeed in his training, and he was finally fulfilling their wish -even if it meant not seeing them again._

_But despite the ordinariness of that night, something felt wrong._

_In fact, everything had felt wrong for the last few days since he’d learnt about his true lineage. The friendships had slowly started sinking while the Voice had returned with a vengeance. This time, Ben hadn’t tried pushing it away but greeted it as an old friend, accepting its comforting words lulling him to sleep when the murmurs of his frightened comrades echoed around his tent._

_A letter was lying down on the small desk, crumpled by the many reads, surrounded by a dozen drafts of an unfinished reply that would never get to be done. It was one of those light sleeps he often woke up from with a jolt, wondering if the Voice in his nightmare had been real was an impingement of his imagination. When he opened his eyes, Ben frowned as he tried to remember which words had woken him this time, but all he could hear was the familiar buzzing of a lightsaber accompanied by a green light that twisted his stomach. The blue eyes his met were deprived of all the kindness he’d always seen behind them, filled with a fear and determination that crystallized his blood._

Kylo’s chest heaved as he opened his eyes, escaping the end of the nightmare he knew all too well. Betrayal. Death. _Snoke_. Even if he knew the nightmare was over, he nevertheless needed to feel he was back to reality. Moving his hand to land on the closest wall, he noticed an unusual warmth on it and froze. The events of the night made their way to his mind as his eyes lingered on the small hand which fingers were loosely intertwined with three of his. His whole body stiffened as his eyes followed the curve of her arm to linger on Rey’s face.

Her cheek resting on the ship’s wall, she winced at every tremor but didn’t seem willing to leave the drowsiness she’d succumbed to, slumped on a chair made of boxes she’d piled up. A shiver ran through her hand, provoking a slight movement in her clenched fingers; it instantly felt like whatever had travelled through her now grasped him by the tip of his own fingers, reminding him of the small electroshocks that would occasionally bite his skin as a kid whenever he tried helping his father with the repairs of his beloved ship – the Millennium Falcon. Her grasp tightened as she inhaled loudly; the small pressure of her hand on his made Kylo gulp as he remained motionless, unable to take his eyes off of her.

_She’d been sleeping_ , she realized as she suddenly opened her eyes. She’d been fighting the fatigue for hours, but it seemed her body had surrendered the minute Finn had left her side to join Chewbacca in the cockpit. Before she could even begin to check on him, Rey realized he was awake and quickly removed her hand from his as he began to sit up on the small bunk they’d settled him in with great difficulty.

“Don’t-“ she started, soon cut by his growl of pain as he instinctively moved his hand to his right hip. The warning died on her lips and she pursed them, wincing at his obvious ache as he heavily slinked back on the bed.

“The gundark you were fighting scratched you,” she explained, rubbing her eyes to avoid meeting his. “Finn took care of it.” The name of the former Stormtrooper forced a frown out of him.

She hadn’t noticed the creature until Chewbacca had freed her of Ben’s unconscious body. It was irrefutably dead, lying on its side with its claws outstretched in a last attempt to defend itself from those who’d stepped on its territory. She voluntarily omitted her friend’s reluctance to take care of his wounds while she’d taken refuge in the cockpit alongside Chewbacca. The sight of blood, she could manage –but now was not the time to get distracted by any other sight.

“Where is Orell?”

Rey mechanically turned to the corridor leading to the back of the ship. This boy –Orell- had been injured more seriously than him: one cut on the cheek, three on his back.

“He’s in the crew quarters, with… Evin?” The name of the woman came out as a question to which he answered with a nod, his hand still pressed where the pain seemed to increase.

They were not in the Falcon, he noticed as he took a look around. The room was too shiny, narrow, and lacked the very distinctive smell of the old freighter; something between dust and rust, slightly covered by the scent of his father’s jackets.

“The others?” he finally asked, fearing the answer would not please him.

He was the one to blame for the Gundark, as for the attack; no one but Hux could have sent those Stormtroopers. He’d always thought the General would be nothing without Captain Phasma by his side, but it looked like he’d been wrong. The red-haired man knew what he wanted, and he knew how to get it. His aversion towards Hux grew as he remembered Gania was now between his hands, and he wondered whether he’d spared her life or not. Before he could begin to decide which would be worse, Rey’s voice pulled him back from his ruminations.

“They took your ship –we found it just before we left Cato Neimoidia. We’ll meet them when we arrive since they took a different road.”

He was about to ask _where,_ exactly, they were going, when he felt another presence in the room. Cautiously, Kylo leaned on his elbow and turned his head towards his blind spot to see the Stormtrooper –Finn- standing a few feet away, unsure about what to do. Probably noticing a change in his eyes, Rey turned as well and the man’s face softened.

“I was just…checking.” He seemed more torn than ill-at-ease, as if he was unsure about which behavior to adopt in this situation. “Everything alright?”

Rey started nodding, but a deep yawn cut her halfway.

“You should get some sleep.” Finn stated, his brows furrowed at the sight of the shadows underlining her eyes.

“I’m fine.” Under the firmness of her voice, another yawn threatened to escape her lips; she sealed them in an attempt to repress it, causing Finn to sigh as he crossed his arms on his chest.

“We’re taking the long road; you have hours ahead of you. Please, just get some rest.”

She was about to protest when Kylo’s voice outdistanced hers.

“He’s right.”

The two men exchanged a look Rey first witnessed in a state of alert until she saw Finn make an almost imperceptible nod before going back to the cockpit. Her eyes then hesitantly dwelled on Ben, who silently beckoned her to go before he closed his eyes, faking sleep. Her joints cracked in unison as she got up on her feet, only now noticing how badly she had been sitting for the previous hour.

The crew quarters were nothing more than a cupboard in which the ship’s builder had managed to trap a pair of bunk beds, leaving nothing more than a few inches between them. When she stepped in, Rey found herself nearly face to face with the woman who had insisted on following them. She looked considerably older than her, maybe by ten or fifteen years judging, by the strictness emanating from her –something about her felt like she was challenging anyone to dare gaze at her. When her eyes met Rey’s, she softened and stepped back, letting her come in.

“Is he ok?”

Rey nodded before returning the question as she looked at the young boy laying in one of the four beds. “Is he?”

Evin nodded as well and dropped herself on the bed facing Orell’s with a sigh of relief. Feeling her legs begging her to give them a break, Rey climbed on one of the suspended beds and slipped under the covers, shivering at the contact of the cold sheets on the bare skin of her legs. It had been a long time since she’d had the luxury of wrapping herself in what felt like an endless blanket.

She was of age ten, maybe eleven. Her clothes hardly fit her anymore; judging by the sunburns marking her shoulders and thighs. But the fabric she needed was rather expensive: She worked harder and deprived herself of half the rations she’d earned, selling them on the black market in order to gather enough money to buy the precious beige fabric she needed. Everything had to be just like the previous : the color, the shape –even the materials were similar. The night she’d come home with her acquisition, she’d found herself unable not to wrap up in the long, soft pieces of fabric. Opposed to the heat of the day, nights happened to be fairly fresh on Jakku; she either slept next to the old computer display or rolled up in a fetal position, counting on her own body heat to keep herself warm until dawn. Yet that night, she’d permitted herself to wrap her frail body in the immensity of the fabrics and enjoy the comfort of it for one night.

The covers were not as soft as the memory she had of the fabrics, but the same soothing feeling invaded every inch of her body as she felt it slowly giving in to sleep. Just when she reached the blurred limit between sleep and awake, Evin’s voice rose in a whisper.

“It’s Rey, right?”

Half-asleep, she mumbled a confirmation, not even finding the strength to open her eyes again or to ask how she knew her name.

“Thank you, Rey.”

 

A heavy paw landed on Kylo’s face along with a familiar groan that caused his whole body to tense, dragging him out of the sleep he’d visibly yielded to hours ago. His eyes opened to face those of a Wookie he knew all too well, and now dreaded as he recalled the last time they’d met. His brown gaze probed him for a second, but there was nothing of bitterness in it; only sadness, and a hint of something deeper he didn’t get to decipher as Chewbacca stepped back to the cockpit, quickly replaced by Finn.

“We’re landing”, the young man briefly repeated. His eyes had changed, too: where he’d expected fear, he only found it filled with suspicion and curiosity.

For a moment, Kylo was tempted to say he didn't need a translation –but his own curiosity had awakened at the information. Wincing once more at the pain from the wound he’d forgotten, he sat on the small bunk to level his eyes at the small porthole from which he caught sight of a forest surrounded by a crystal lake. The more they approached the ground, the more he became aware of a presence he’d felt since the Wookie had woken him. A sweet, comforting signature in the Force, both twisting his stomach and filling it with a long forgotten warmth.

He barely noticed Finn and Chewbacca heading to the crew quarters and carrying Orell out of the ship closely escorted by Rey and Evin, focused on her presence appearing clearer at any passing seconds. Their voices echoed outside, joined by others before the area suddenly dived into a heavy silence only cut by the sound of his back meeting the mattress. He didn’t need to look up to know whose steps resonated on the metallic flooring of the ship, and something in him didn’t want to, afraid of what he would discovered. Afraid this reunion would alter the memory of her he'd selfishly preserved with such caution he'd sometimes wonder if his feelings had ever altered the truth.

The ship wasn’t broad; it only took her a few steps to reach the main room in which she’d felt her son’s presence. When her eyes landed on him, Leia stopped and held her breath as she felt a lump forming in her throat. He was nothing of the little boy she’d entrusted to her brother years ago; he was a full grown man, taller than his father ever was. His dark hair still seemed to hesitate between curling and falling loosely on his cheeks, a feature he’d inherited from her. He’d grown strong, far from the frail boy he used to be. He’d changed, but she would have recognized his eyes among thousands: two distinctive brown irises, lingering an intense gaze on her that felt deeper than the whole galaxy itself.

All composure left her as she instinctively took a few more strides before cautiously sitting on the edge of the small bunk he was settled in. She was not a General anymore; just a mother longing to take her child in her arms and protect him from all the danger life would carelessly throw at him before time flew by and dragged him away from her. Sensing his uncertainty to be as strong as hers, she nonetheless repressed herself from any new attempt and patiently waited for him to react, breath as steady as her gaze.

It wouldn’t have been easy, but he’d prepared himself for her look of disapproval. Even a sermon, he would have understood –one of those she sometimes gave his father whenever she thought him asleep, far from the tumult of their quarells. But nothing had prepared him for the tenderness she showed as she took a seat next to him, her eyes wrapping him with a sense of safety only her presence had ever provided. A few wrinkles had appeared on her face and her hair had greyed, but she remained the same strong woman that looked like she was tired of carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, but kept doing it anyway with a brave smile. His mind was a mystery she’d always known how to solve, either by a kiss or a walk by the Lake Andrasha they both loved so ardently.

Ignoring the wound on his hip, Kylo made an effort to straighten up, not looking away even in a blink. They both opened their mouth as if to say something then stopped, eyes wide open scrutinizing each other as they realized the gap the years had dug between them. Had her voice changed? His surely had, he realized as he wondered what he should tell her. Knowing what she needed to hear revealed itself a mystery, but nothing compared to what he needed to say. The anger he’d felt for years had vanished, making way to the sole need of knowing she would forgive him. He opened his mouth once again, but no words were strong enough for the weight of his regret to leave his chest. Careful not to press on his wound, he moved closer to the edge of the bunk and slowly leaned until his head rested against his mother's chest.

He’d largely outgrown her, yet her arms found a way around his shoulders as his wrapped her waist with his. She wouldn’t have been surprised had he begun shrinking between her embrace. Curled up against her, he seemed just as fragile as the little boy she'd watched lingering his doubtful gaze on her before leaving for what would be years. Plunging herself in work had always been her way to cope with her feelings; but nothing, not even a war, had been strong enough to make her forget about the hole the absence of her child had left in her life. Unable to restrain herself any longer, she slowly drew her hand through her son’s hair and started brushing it from the tip of her fingers, just like she did whenever she’d come home late to find him asleep in her bed, curled up next to Han. Silently, she rested her chin on the top on his head and slowed down her breathing as she felt his body shaking. The words would eventually come, she didn't doubt that; but for now on, this was exactly what they needed.

 

“Where are they taking him?” Evin asked, a bit harsher than she’d expected.

The young boy whose name she'd forgotten turned back while the Wookie kept walking, carrying the unconscious form of Orell in his wide arms. One wrong move and he could just as well crush his bones.

“Somewhere safe, I promise.” He sounded sincere, but not confident enough to her liking.

Before she could ask anything more or even protest, the young woman helplessly watched the three of them disappear between the tents of a campsite way more spirited than the ruins she’d been accustomed to for six years. Species from all around the galaxy casually talking to each other and behind them, a makeshift market with fresh food outclassing every berry she was so tired of eating. Her eyes tried to catch every color the area had to offer, as if the constant smoke of Cato Neimoidia had deprived her of some. It had, in a way. Even the water reflected the greyness of the clouds hovering above the mountains, making her feel as if she’d been trapped in a cage of steam.

“I’ve seen you before.”

The words escaped Rey’s lips before she could gather her thoughts. Her eyes sealed on the woman’s apparel, she probed her mind searching for where she’d seen those particular shoes: high, black boots topped with multiple silver buckles. She slowly raised her gaze to the woman’s waist to discover a large belt she’d inexplicably expected; the only thing that caught her by surprise was the absence of gloves.

“You must be mistak-” Evin started, shortly cut by the young woman.

“In a vision.”

Right here on Takodana, just before she’d tried to run away. She remembered, now; the castle, the call of the lightsaber, and all those places she’d visited in the spat of a few seconds just when she’d touched it. The heat of Jakku’s sun on her skin abruptly suspended by a cold rain under which she’d distinguished seven figures staring at her, including one she’d met minutes after in the forest boarding the camp.

“There were six of you.”

Evin felt something twist in her throat as she recalled Gania’s last scream before Tulan stated they couldn’t do anything for her.

“I guess it’s five of us, now.”

The woman’s blue eyes filled with a sorrow Rey couldn’t understand, but respectfully didn’t interrupt for a few minutes until her tongue felt like it was burning with questions begging to be asked. As usual, her curiosity spoke for her and she couldn’t repress it.

“What happened?”

“Tonight ?” Or _that_ night ? The latter remained unspoken, but both of them knew it to be hanging between them.

Rey shrugged. _Of course she wanted the full story_ , Evin thought as she rolled her eyes at her own foolishness. Not without a sigh, she beckoned the young girl to follow her and sat cross-legged facing the lake, ready to speak more than she ever had in months.

In the space of an hour or two, she learnt a lot: their surprise at Ben’s arrival on Cato Neimoidia, the few days he’d spent with them and the attack she’d half-witnessed through the bond the day before. Rey wasn’t surprised to hear they suspected the First Order had turned its back on him after his prolonged absence, but she suddenly felt saddened when they reached the moment one of them –a girl called Gania- hadn’t manage to follow them.

“We went there. I didn’t see any girl.”

“Then they probably took her with them,” Evin concluded as she gazed at the depths of the lake before their eyes.

“What about…before?”

Rey wriggled on the stone she was sitting on, unsure about the wisdom of her question as Evin turned to her with a frown. Her small, blue doe-eyed stare seemed to probe her for a few seconds, as if she was weighing up the pros and cons of sharing details about her early life. The woman pursed her lips before she looked back at the landscape, a slight smile appearing on her lips.

“You haven’t known him for very long, have you?”

The former scavenger replied by a shake of her head, only now realizing how much changed in so little time. Sighing again, Evin straightened up and turned so she could face her as she started relating the notorious night during which the Jedi Temple had burnt from the inside.

The story appeared easier to listen to than Rey had expected. Favored by her previous knowledge of Skywalker’s consideration to kill his nephew, she didn’t wince until Evin reached the part where she and someone she called ‘Tulan’ had left their respective sheds, warned by the sound of lightsabers crashing against each others.

“It was a very confusing night. We killed friends –siblings, for some.”

Her confident look seemed long gone as she spoke almost in a murmur, lost in a memory that hadn't stopped haunting her since that night; bodies of their peers surrounding them on the floor, blood forming a puddle in which her feet struggled as she floundered to a violently shaking Ben, hunched up on the ground with a look she'd never seen in his eyes before.

Rey hardly swallowed the piece of bread she’d gotten out of her bag, trying to picture the scene. Fortunately, Evin’s voice pulled her back to their conversation, away from the memory that was not hers.

“Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if nothing had ever happened.” She took a break to throw a pebble in the water and stared at the circles growing around where the stone had drowned before continuing. “A new Jedi Order; I guess that’s what we were supposed to be.”

_A new Jedi Order_. The words echoed in Rey’s mind with a sense of familiarity she couldn’t explain. Those words had never made their way to her ears, but still, it felt like they’d always been here. Thinking of her common, tedious life on Jakku, she found herself wondering how her Jedi training would have been, in another life: instead of wasting her young years on a desert planet waiting for her parents. She would have known about the Force inside her and learn how to control it. She would probably have been one of Evin’s peers. She would have met Ben earlier.

“What was it like?” She tried to make the question sound casual, but her growing curiosity was palpable as she became aware of all the possible lives she could have lived, had she not persisted on staying on Jakku for so long.

For the first time since they’d started talking, Rey noticed a smile cracking at the nook of the woman’s lips. They spent the rest of the afternoon sitting in the grass facing each other, Evin recalling her years as Skywalker’s student and Rey attentively listening to every word dropping out of her mouth, head resting on her knees clustered against her chest. She learnt a lot about Skywalker and his methods; nothing like the disillusioned lessons he gave her during her stay on Ahch-To. The master Evin had looked up to sounded like a wise, receptive man who’d made a point of honor to keep his students united and loyal to each other. However, she wasn’t surprised to hear that the old man would sometimes crack a joke or two during their training, remembering his peculiar humor she'd witnessed. The Caretakers probably remembered it too.

She learnt a lot about Ben, too: his incredible abilities with the Force, how they’d struggled to get closer to him, and how they’d then struggled to try and free him from whatever demons had seemed to be haunting him since forever. The night had already fallen over the green planet when Evin started talking about what her life had been like on Cato Neimoidia; for the first time since they’d started talking, Rey hadn’t needed to ask for her to confide, but she didn’t dare stop her, realizing maybe the woman needed to talk about it. She’d listened for half an hour when two figures approaching them captured her attention.

Following her gaze, Evin immediately stopped speaking and stood up alongside Rey, who reached them in no time at all. Quickly, Rey found herself wrapped up in General Organa’s arms in a tight clasp that felt like a silent ‘thank you’ she hadn't expected. Silent as well, she allowed herself to put her arms on the lady’s shoulders but couldn’t resolve to take her eyes off the second figure standing away from them, observing their embrace with something rather close to a smile appearing on his lips.

“Evin, am I right?” Leia asked as she freed Rey to turn to the other young woman. “You must be starving, come eat something before we go see how the young Orell is doing.”

The mention of her friend seemed to rejuvenate Evin, who nodded firmly while immediately coming closer to them. The General greeted her with the same warm smile she’d given Rey the first time they’d met, and beckoned her to follow her as she started walking towards the camp. Feeling her stomach growling, Rey instinctively started following suit before she realized Ben wasn’t doing the same. Of course he wasn’t joining the group, and she wouldn’t blame him. As her stomach let out another complaint, her mind did something she had never tried before. No sooner than the words came out of her mouth, the thought outdistanced her and echoed between them the way her fear had before, as well as any other strong feeling she’d known he’d sensed during each of their connections. _I’ll be right back._ A tilt of his head informed her, as unbelievable as it was, he’d gotten the message.

A new protest from her stomach compelled her to hastily catch up with the two women who’d already nearly reached the large wooden table at the center of the camp. It was rather late; only Taslin and Poe were still there, fully involved in a conversation she didn’t try to listen. Careful not to meet Poe’s gaze and end up in a conversation that would be rather embarrassing for both of them, Rey quickly grabbed a piece of bread and a small basket half filled up with what looked like fruits before heading to the tent she'd slept in for the last few days. Unsurprisingly, she bumped into a quiet, peaceful place rhythmed by the untuned ensemble of deep breathings. It took her a few seconds before she spotted what she’d come here for. At the other side of the tent, laying on the floor, was her woolen blanket. Unsure if this would work, she extended a hand and took a deep breath. Seconds later, the blanket landed in her open hand.

 

A sense of relief overwhelmed Kylo when he saw her coming back minutes later, wrapped up in a blanket he would have sworn he’d seen before. A soft scent of bread made its way to him as he watched her sitting next to him, quickly followed by the one of berries – not the same he’d had to eat on Cato Neimoidia, fortunately. She’d already started eating some when a realization hit him, and encouraged him to talk.

“I didn’t thank you.”

The pit she’d just sent landed in the water, splattering one of the porgs that had left the Falcon and settled next to the forest. When the last circle brushing the surface of the water disappeared, Rey’s eyes lingered on Ben and she shrugged, obviously embarrassed at the idea of being thanked once more today.

“You were busy fainting, you’re excused.” She didn’t always use humor as an evasion, but it seemed Skywalker had gave her more than the three lessons he’d promised: sarcasm was definitely not one of those, yet she'd become rather at ease with the concept.

“Anyway, thank you.”

Surprised, Rey stopped abruptly as she was about to throw another pit to the water. Those were probably the last words she’d even thought she would hear from him. Something about his tone led her to believe these were also words he probably hadn’t said in a long time. Unsure about what she should say, she remained steadily gazing at the lake until a muffled sound made her turn over to see Ben lying in the grass. Emphasized by the moonlight, his face seemed wearier than ever. Pretending she didn’t notice the redness in his eyes as they lingered on her, Rey frowned and decided to rely on her second way of evasion.

_“There are actual beds in the Falcon, I can escort you there.”_

Judging by the sullen wince that crossed his face, the offer wasn’t appealing to him.

“They’re not comfortable,” he hastened to explain.

“But grass is?”

Sarcasm was really getting under her skin, she realized as she watched him shrug and avoid her gaze. She was about to insist when an idea –or rather a fact- blossomed in her mind before she could think about it. The last few hours had already been an emotional struggle to deal with; visiting his father’s ship would just be too much. Failing to avoid his inquiring look as she took the blanket off her shoulders, Rey spread the large fabric in the air and let it loosely land on him as she settled in the humid grass as well, inches from him. Only as she was about to lie down, she turned to him and explained herself with a voice staggering between embarrassment and firmness.

“You’re not sleeping alone.”

Before the idea of thanking her once more could cross his mind, Rey’s body disappeared under her side of the blanket and they both turned away, her facing the forest while he faced the ship.

It had never occurred to her that water could produce such a soothing melody to her ears. Water had never been more than another award on Jakku, something precious she knew was essential to her survival and yet so hard to obtain she’d learn not to waste. Takodana being the first planet she’d seen with a lake, the sight had immediately left her stunned. So much water and no one to properly enjoy it with. She’d almost forgotten the sensation of being thirsty since she’d joined the Resistance, but she remained extremely curious about such large expense of water : how would it feel on her skin ? Would she be able to swim ? Lost in her thoughts, she’d almost forgotten Ben’s presence until a spasm travelled his body, slightly moving the blanket.

Something about his close presence reassured her. She’d found him, and he was safe; probably not willing to join the Resistance as she’d hoped before, but still safe. As another movement from his side made the blanket caress her bare shoulder, she suddenly felt the need to draw closer to him, even more intense than the one she’d felt on Ahch-To. Once again he was there, within easy reach, and something in her wanted to make sure this wasn’t another connection that would cut when least wanted.

Following her instinct, Rey cautiously shoved herself backwards until her back met Ben’s. She’d only brushed him, but her whole body steadied at the contact, her mind slowly proceeding what she’d done. Despite the tension filling each and every one of her muscles, she felt incredibly relieved as she became fully aware of his presence. Encouraged by the feeling that she wasn’t the only one feeling this way, she eased off her posture. Her shoulders relaxed and her spine followed suit, loosening until it nearly aligned with his, a shiver travelling down her back as she felt him become as tensed as she'd been seconds ago. Watching out for a signal of discomfort from him, she let a heavy sigh when, minutes later, she felt his shoulders relax as well and his breathing coming back to normal. An almost imperceptible pressure on her back achieved to reassure her, and she fell asleep faster than she ever had before, lulled by the rhythm of his breathings heaving both of their bodies.

Fortunately for her, no nightmare visited her slumber that night. Unfortunately, Takodana was a planet inhabited by a great variety of species, all as noisy as the others. Most of them slept at night, but something she would have described as a small, colorful bird landed inches from her face before flying away, waking her with a jolt in the middle of the night. Iit took her a few seconds after she'd eased her heart to a normal pace to realize that the warmth on her back she'd fallen asleep with had disappeared, leaving her with a strange feeling of emptiness. In a more clumsy way than hours ago, Rey slid backwards until she felt her back hitting something. Less careful than previously, she immediately relaxed her shoulders and let her body adapt to the shape of Ben’s back; it wasn’t until she’d relaxed her lower back that she realized she was resting not against his back, but his chest.

“Sorry-” she breathed out. Saying the word, she realized she wasn’t; surprised, for certain. Her body had regained his whole tension as she held her breath and waited, nearly hoping for an answer, but none of her muscles made the slightest move.

“It’s alright,” he replied almost instantly with a voice that sounded very awake to her.

It wasn’t alright : her hip was nearly crushing his wound, and his right arm stood in the air, about to give out under the weight of the lightsaber he’d been holding in his hand for the past hours. As soon as Rey had settled her back against his, he’d remained unable to sleep, afraid the smallest of his move would wake her up. Now that she was fully awake, he could have moved at his convenience : turn back and let his arm land on the grass, take back the blanket she’d wrapped her whole self in and let his body succumb to the tiredness invading it; but, as he felt her drumming heart against his chest, it appeared feeling her so close to him was definitely worth the pain.

His arm felt weaker and weaker with each passing second under the weight of the weapon he was still holding. When it felt like it was filled with pins and needles, he finally surrendered and tossed the lightsaber aside, now considering surrendering to another desire he’d been fighting since he’d felt her back crashing into him. After a deep breath that didn’t manage to slow down his heartbeats, he risked his arm to extend a bit further and landed it on Rey’s waist with a softness he didn’t know he was capable of, almost not touching her lest she would leave.

A shiver that had nothing to do with the wetness of the grass rolled down her spine, and she realized how thankful she was that Ben couldn’t see her face from where he was. Just when she thought her heart couldn’t beat faster, it now threatened to leave her ribcage and joyously wonder around the campsite. Focusing on her breathing since it seemed to be more or less the only thing that remained controllable through her body, Rey risked a look at the hand resting on her waist, as if she couldn’t believe it was there. Only a second later, he started pulling it away, as if regretting his gesture. She didn’t know why or how, but she felt her own hand grabbing his arm in a hasty movement, nearly hitting his chest with her elbow.

She could always blame the coldness of the night or wait for the morning and pretend she was subject to sleep fitfully, but something gave her courage not to; instead, she tightened her grip on his arm and guided it back on her waist, fully aware of her shaking breath. Maybe was it the ephemeral atmosphere of the night, the darkness hiding her face she could feel blushing as she became aware of the weight of his arm on her, or even the remote fear this was only a dream she would soon wake up from; but the warmth of his body behind her hinted it was far from being one.

After a few minutes when neither of them moved nor talked, his shaking hand loosened and hesitantly landed on her abdomen, hastening the heartbeats she’d nearly managed to slow down. Instinctively, Rey sunk herself further against him until she’d reduced the imperceptible space left between them to nothing, adjusting her position to fit his as she felt a shiver running through both of their tensed figures. It took them both a few minutes to relax their positions and chase the tension from their bodies, finally allowing themselves to embrace the warmth of the other against them.

“Goodnight." Her voice sounded different than the one she’d grown used to hearing, somewhere between that of a whisper and a mumble.

Everything from her wide open eyes to her beating heart informed her she would probably not be able to sleep again, but she wouldn’t have moved for anything in the galaxy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been wanting to write these scenes for weeks ! I hope you like it !


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